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原文赏析：
你所认为的并非真正的你；反倒是你怎么想，你就是什么样的人。
我们应该关心自己的问题，而非担忧。
关注意味着要认清问题，并冷静地采取步骤处理它，忧虑只是慌乱地兜圈子。
伤害人的并非事件本身，而是他对事件的看法。
人如果改变对事与人的看法，事与人就对他发生改变……
只要将一个人内心的态度由恐惧转为奋斗，就能克服任何障碍。
查尔斯华特服务在纽约市一家极具声誉的银行里，他被指派调查一家公司业务情况的秘密报告。华特知道有家实业公司的经理，对这情形最清楚，可以提供他所需要的资料，华特就去拜访那位经理。正当华特被引进经理室时，一个年轻女子由门外探头进来，告诉那位经理说，她那天没什么好邮票给他。
经理向那女郎点点头后，接着向华特解释的说：「我在替我那十二岁的孩子收集邮票。」
华特坐下说明他的来意，就即提出他的问题。可是那位经理却是含糊其辞，概括笼统，不搭边际的应付了一阵，很明显的，他是不愿意说。华特用尽了办法，也无法使他多说些，这次谈话简短枯燥，得不到一点要领。
华特也是我讲习班里的一个学员，他说：「说实在的，我真不知该怎么办才好………后来，我突然想起他那个女秘书对他说的话，邮票、十二岁的小孩，同时我又想到，我们银行的国外汇兑部，常和世界各地通信，有不少平时少见的外国邮票，现在正可以派到用处。
第二天的下午，我再去拜访那位经理，同时传话进去，我有很多邮票，特地带来给他的儿子………你说，我是不是受到热烈的欢迎？那是当然的事，他紧握我的手，脸上满是喜悦的笑容。他看了看邮票，一再的说：「我的乔琪一定喜欢这一张………嗯，这一张更好，那是少有见到的。」
我们谈了半个小时的邮票，还看他儿子的相片………随后，不需要我再开口了。他费了一个小时以上的时间，提供出各项我所需要的资料。他说完自己所知道的情形后，又把公司里的职员叫来问，接着还打了几个电话问他的朋友………而且还指出那家公司财产状况的各项报告、函件，使我得到一个极大的收获。
一个不关心别人，对别人不感兴趣的人，他的生活必遭受重大的阻碍、困难，同时会替别人带来极大的损害、困扰，所有人类的失败，都是由于这些人而才发生的。
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精彩短评：
作者：骑着思想的狐狸 发布时间：2020-06-05 09:57:13
还好吧，普通读者和专业读者都能兼顾到。。就是配图，能不能找个摄影师来拍？看着辣眼睛。
作者：kayoko 发布时间：2022-06-11 14:24:53
不全
作者：永恒之人 发布时间：2023-01-05 20:16:19
本书应该是励志、鸡汤、成功学、口才类书籍的鼻祖了吧，没看过的人看一看，必有收获。不过这个版本不全。
作者：若雯 发布时间：2023-04-04 13:04:17
很多观点还是值得我学习，只不过已经在其他的地方看到过，就没那么新颖，讲的故事也不似其他书那样贴近现在的生活。
作者：Nice 发布时间：2022-09-29 09:40:05
这版本内容可能不全，但书是好书
作者：我还能拿起剑 发布时间：2021-04-19 16:15:39
挺好的旅游书，内容写的很全面，就连怎么上网怎么打电话怎么办签证日本的民俗啥的都写了出来，虽然我目前不打算去日本，但这书也不失为一部了解日本的好书。
有点纳闷的是，日本的景点门票都这么便宜吗？本就人均高，看完整本最贵的景点折合人民币才100元，有点吃惊。
缺点是这本书编排的有点挤，所有信息似乎一股脑的涌进来，给人感觉不是很好。
深度书评：
做人做事的普遍原则
作者：Hammer_ 发布时间：2012-02-03 18:21:57
Before we commence reading How To Win Friends And Influence People, we should first realize that this book had been written to be used to as textbook for the author's course in Effective speaking and Human relationship and it still used for today.
So please not categorize this book as Self-help or Motivational book which often be degraded by those who unceasingly declaim how badly they hate this sort of things.
Dealing with people is probably the biggest problem we face, especially if you are in business. Those principles can apply to all walks of people.
If you wish to get the most out of this book, there is one indispensable requirement, one essential infinitely more important than any rule or technique. Unless you have this one fundamental requisite, a thousand rules on how to study will avail little.
What is this magic requirement? Just this: a deep, driving desire to learn, a vigorous determination to increase your ability to deal with people.
Once you believe,that works.
“Education,” said the author “is the ability to meet life’s situations,”
If by the time you have finished reading the first three chapters of this book- if you aren’t then a little better equipped to meet life’s situations, then I shall consider this book to be a total failure so far as you are concerned. For “the great aim of education,” said the author, “is not knowledge but action.”
And this is an action book :)
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readingnote:
第一大章：怎样赢得朋友
原则一：永远不要去批评别人
很精辟，我们应该转换方式，让他们自己发现，或者用一种温和，婉转的方式，反之就算是中肯的批评也是有害无利
1.ninety-nine times out of a hundred, people don’t criticize themselves for anything, no matter how wrong it may be.
2.Criticism is futile because it puts a person on the defensive and usually makes him strive to justify himself. Criticism is dangerous, because it wounds a person’s precious pride, hurts his sense of importance, and arouses resentment
3.Let’s realize that the person we are going to correct and condemn will probably justify himself or herself, and condemn us in return or, like the gentle Taft, will say: “I don’t see how I could have done any differently from what I have.
4.每当我们想要批评别人的时候，想想这句话：“I don’t see how I could have done any differently from what I have”Judge not, that ye be not judged
5.最真诚的忠告------勿责人，常思已过：Do you know someone you would like to change and regulate and improve? Good! That is fine. I am all in favor of it, But why not begin on yourself? From a purely selfish standpoint, that is a lot more profitable than trying to improve others - yes, and a lot less dangerous. “Don’t complain about the snow on your neighbor’s roof,” said Confucius, “when your own doorstep is unclean.”
6.每个人都是感性的动物：When dealing with people, let us remember we are not dealing with creatures of logic. We are dealing with creatures of emotion, creatures bristling with prejudices and motivated by pride and vanity.
7.我们应该做的：Instead of condemning people, let’s try to understand them. Let’s try to figure out why they do what they do. That’s a lot more profitable and intriguing than criticism and it breeds sympathy, tolerance and kindness. “To know all is to forgive all.”
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原则二 如何与人打交道---Give honest and sincere appreciation
1、（有道理！）There is only one way under high heaven to get anybody to do anything. Did you ever stop to think of that? Yes, just one way. And that is by making the other person want to do it. Remember, there is no other way.
2.每个人都得到赞扬啊：The deepest principle in human nature is the craving to be appreciated.The desire for a feeling of importance is one of the chief distinguishing differences between mankind and the animals
3. 赞扬和奉承的区别：The difference between appreciation and flattery? That is simple. One is sincere and the other insincere. One comes from the heart out,the other from the teeth out. One is unselfish,the other selfish. One is universally admired, the other universally condemned.
4.多点发自内心的感激，别吝啬对我们爱的人的赞扬：When we are not engaged in thinking about some definite problem, we usually spend about 95 percent of our time thinking about ourselves. Now, if we stop thinking about ourselves for a while and begin to think of the other person’s good points, we won’t have to resort to flattery so cheap and false that it can be spotted almost before it is out of the mouth
5. 真的是这样呢：Let’s cease thinking of our accomplishments, our wants. Let’s try to figure out the other person’s good points. Then forget flattery. Give honest, sincere appreciation. Be “hearty in your approbation and lavish in your praise,” and people will cherish your words and treasure them and repeat them over a lifetime -repeat them years after you have forgotten them
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原则三. 去谈论人家感兴趣的事----Arouse in the other person an eager want
1.少谈自己，谈大家的兴趣和利益所在：So the only way cm earth to influence other people is to talk about what they want and show them how to get it. Remember that tomorrow when you are trying to get somebody to do something. If, for example, you don’t want your children to smoke, don’t preach at them, and don’t talk about what you want? but show them that cigarettes may keep them from making the basketball team or winning the hundred-yard dash.（销售的人应该学学，学会从他人的角度看问题）
2.If out of reading this book you get just one thing- an increased tendency to think always in terms of other people’s point of view, and see things from their angle - if you get that one thing out of this book, it may easily prove to be one of the building blocks of your career.
3、我们的目的不是为了操纵人，而是实现双赢：Looking at the other person’s point of view and arousing in him an eager want for something is not to be construed as manipulating that person so that he will do something that is only for your benefit and his detriment
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第二大章：怎样让人喜欢你
原则一：Become genuinely interested in other people--对他人感兴趣
1.If we want to make friends, let’s put ourselves out to do things for other people -things that require time, energy, unselfishness and thoughtfulness
2.If we want to make friends, let’s greet people with animation and enthusiasm. When somebody calls you on the telephone use the same psychology
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原则二：经常微笑
1.Actions speak louder than words, and a smile says, “I like you, You make me happy. I am glad to see you.”That is why dogs make such a hit. They are so glad to see us that they almost jump out of their skins. So, naturally, we are glad to see them. A baby’s smile has the same effect
2.A man without a smiling face must not open a shop.”Your smile is a messenger of your good will. Your smile brightens the lives of all who see it. To someone who has seen a dozen people frown, scowl or turn their faces away, your smile is like the sun breaking through the clouds. Especially when that someone is under pressure from his bosses, his customers, his teachers or parents or children, a smile can help him realize that all is not hopeless -that there is joy in the world.
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原则三：记住别人的名字
Remember that a person’s name is to that person the sweetest and most important sound in any language
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原则四： 做一个好的听众，让别人去谈论自己（Be a good listener. Encourage others to talk about themselves）
So if you aspire to be a good conversationalist, be an attentive listener. To be interesting, be interested. Ask questions that other persons will enjoy answering. Encourage them to talk about themselves and their accomplishments.
Remember that the people you are talking to are a hundred times more interested in themselves and their wants and problems than they are in you and your problems. A person’s toothache means more to that person than a famine in China which kills a million people. A boil on one’s neck interests one more than forty earthquakes in Africa. Think of that the next time you start a conversation
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原则五：谈别人感兴趣的事（Talk in terms of the other person’s interests. ）
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原则六：承认对方的优点和对自己的重要性（Make the other person feel important-and do it sincerely）
The unvarnished truth is that almost all the people you meet feel themselves superior to you in some way, and a sure way to their hearts is to let them realize in some subtle way that you recognize their importance, and recognize it sincerely. Remember what Emerson said: “Every man I meet is my superior in some way. In that, I learn of him.
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第三大章：How to Win People to Your Way of Thinking
原则一：避免和人辩论，因为你永远不会赢---这个，偶觉得还是方式的问题，不过还是尽量避免好了，因为没啥意义啊！：）The only way to get the best of an argument is to avoid it
You can’t win an argument. You can’t because if you lose it, you lose it,and if you win it, you lose it. Why?Well, suppose you triumph over the other man and shoot This argument full of holes and prove that he is non compos mentis.Then what? You will feel fine. But what about him? You have made him feel inferior. You have hurt his pride. He will resent your triumph. And A man convinced against his will Is of the same opinion still
If you argue and rankle and contradict, you may achieve a victory sometimes, but it will be an empty victory because you will never get your opponent’s good wil
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独立一段，关于怎样应对argument的建议：
一 不同的见解是有益的：Welcome the disagreement. Remember the slogan, “When two partners always agree, one of them is not necessary.” If there is some point you haven’t thought about, be thankful if it is brought to your attention. Perhaps this disagreement is your opportunity to be corrected before you make a serious mistake.
二：(别相信你的第一直觉印象--适用于异见）Distrust your first instinctive impression. Our first natural reaction in a disagreeable situation is to be defensive. Be careful. Keep calm and watch out for your first reaction. It may be you at your worst, not your best
三（控制你的脾气）Control your temper. Remember, you can measure the size of a person by what makes him or her angry. Listen first. Give your opponents a chance to talk. Let them finish. Do not resist, defend or debate. This only raises barriers. Try to build bridges of understanding. Don’t build higher barriers of misunderstanding.
四：求同存异：Look for areas of agreement. When you have heard your opponents out, dwell first on the points and areas on which
you agree.
五：诚实： Be honest, Look for areas where you can admit error and say so. Apologize for your mistakes. It will help disarm your
opponents and reduce defensiveness.
六：Promise to think over your opponents’ ideas and study them carefully. And mean it. Your opponents may be right. It is a lot easier at this stage to agree to think about their points than to move rapidly ahead and find yourself in a position where your opponents can say: “We tried to tell you, but you wouldn’t listen.”
七：感谢你的对手：Thank your opponents sincerely for their interest. Anyone who takes the time to disagree with you is interested in the same things you are. Think of them as people who really want to help you, and you may turn your opponents into friends.
八：给点时间给对方（很重要，很多时候回头看，会觉得当时狠傻，没必要为这问题吵，也从另一方面得出，和人去争论什么，真的没啥意义）Postpone action to give both sides time to think through the problem
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原则二：别告诉别人自己比他们要高明
这段狠有哲理，别证明自己比其他人聪明，就算知道，也别告诉他
That is a challenge. It arouses opposition and makes the listener want to battle with you before you even start. It is difficult, under even the most benign conditions, to change people’s minds. So why make it harder? Why handicap yourself? If you are going to prove anything, don’t let anybody know it. Do it so subtly, so adroitly, that no one will feel that you are doing it.
This was expressed succinctly by Alexander Pope: Men must be taught as if you taught them not And things unknown proposed as things forgot.
Over three hundred years ago Galileo said: You cannot teach a man anything? you can only help him to find it within himself.
As Lord Chesterfield said to his son: Be wiser than other people if you can? but do not tell them so.
（勇于承认错误是最对的）You will never get into trouble by admitting that you may be wrong. That will stop all argument and inspire your opponent to be just as fair and open and broad-minded as you are. It will make him want to admit that he, too, may be wrong
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原则三：勇于认错
When we are right, let’s try to win people gently and tactfully to our way of thinking, and when we are wrong and that will be surprisingly often, if we are honest with ourselves - let’s admit our mistakes quickly and with enthusiasm. Not only will that technique produce astonishing results? but, believe it or not, it is a lot more
fun, under the circumstances, than trying to defend oneself.
Remember the old proverb: "By fighting you never get enough, but by yielding you get more than you expected.”
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原则四：以友好的方式开始 Begin in a friendly way.
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原则五： Get the other person saying “yes, yes”
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原则六：Let the other person do a great deal of the talking.
（这里和上面有点重复了，其实这里有很多原则是共通的）
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原则七：Let the other person feel that the idea is his or hers
卡内基是个中国通，他引用了好多中国古代的谚语和道德经的东西：
" The reason why rivers and seas receive the homage of a hundred mountain streams is that they keep below them. Thus they are able to reign over all the mountain streams. So the sage, wishing to be above men, put himself below them, wishing to be before them, he put himself behind them. Thus, though his place be above men, they do not feel his weight,though his place be before them, they do not count it an injury.”
海纳百川，有容乃大
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如果仅仅把这书当做是快餐书，励志书，成功学，
真的很可惜，
这书流传这么久真有它的道理，一些自以为是的“读书人”可能不屑看这类书，替他们遗憾。
一本值得反复看的经典之作，最重要是去实践上述的原则，
要记住：“This is an action book.”
2012.2.3
By Hammer
人性的弱点读书笔记
作者：贺嘉老师 发布时间：2009-06-27 10:00:30
第一篇 与人相处的基本技巧
1.不要批评，责怪或抱怨他人
2.真诚地赞赏他人
3.想到他人的需求，并告诉他如何实现（影响他人的唯一方式）
第二篇 平安快乐的要诀
1.无须模仿他人，发现自我
2.保持良好的工作习惯
3.放松自己，消除疲劳
4.不要对事情感到倦怠，要使它充满乐趣
5.想的开心，做的开心，你就会真的觉得开心
6.永远不要对敌人心存报复，这样对你自己的伤害将大过对别人的
7.享受付出的快乐，不要期望他人感恩
8.对得到的帮助心存感激
9.命运给你酸柠檬，把它做成柠檬汁
10.忘却自己，对别人多感兴趣
11.凡事尽力，不必太在意指责
12.记下自己干的蠢事，自我批评
第三篇 如何使人喜欢你
1.真诚地关心别人
2.保持微笑
3.记住他人的姓名，这将有助于加深对方对你的印象
4.做一个善于倾听的人，鼓励别人谈论自己
5.谈论别人感兴趣的话题
6.让他人感到自己重要-而且要真诚而为
第四篇 如何赢得他人的赞同
1.避免与人争论
2.对他人的意见表示尊重，别说“你错了”
3.你错了，就迅速而真诚地承认
4.以友善的方式开始
5.首先让别人说“是，是的”
6.让对方多说话
7.让别人觉得那是他自己的主意
8.真诚地尽力从对方的角度看事情
9.同情对方的意念及愿望
10.激发他人的高尚动机
11.将你的意图戏剧性地表现出来
12.给他人提出挑战
第五篇 如何更好地说服他人
1.从称赞与真诚的欣赏开始
2.间接地指出他人错误
3.指责别人前，先想想自己的错误
4.保全他人的面子
5.称赞他人的每个微小进步
6.给人一个美名，并使之努力保全
7.鼓励的办法使人改正错误
8.使对方乐于做你建议的事
第六篇 幸福的家庭生活
1.切勿,切勿喋喋不休
2.不要试图改造你的配偶
3.不要批判你的丈夫或妻子
4.给与对方真诚的欣赏
5.对妻子或丈夫要有礼貌
6.学会与她相处
(1)感谢她，称赞她
(2)要慷慨，关心
(3)不要过于不修边幅
(4)了解她的工作
(5)做她的后盾
(6)分享她的嗜好
(7)爱你的妻子
7.了解一些必备的性知识
第七篇 如何使你变得更加成熟
1.为自己的行为负责
2.不要在乎困难，或许它也是一种机遇
3.学会摆脱生活中的不幸
4.拥有自己的信仰并付诸行动
5.你是独一无二的
(1)每天抽出时间独处，以进一步认识自己
(2)打破习惯的束缚
(3)发现生活中什么东西最能让我们感到满足
6.了解并喜欢你自己
7.不要盲从因袭，听从你内心的声音
8.注意自己身上令人讨厌的地方
(1)不停谈论小孩或宠物
(2)谈话没有重点
(3)完全不理会他人的话题
(4)不要一直争论不休
(5)永远唱低调的人
9.要让别人喜欢你，先得使自己让人喜欢
第八篇 走出孤独忧虑的人生
1.幸福不来自于他人的布施，而是你自己去赢得别人对你的需求和喜爱
2.消除心中的忧虑
3.对于忧虑的问题，考虑最坏情况，接受这种可能，冷静处理善后
4.问题，问题的原因，可能的几种解决方案，你的选择
5.让自己处于忙碌状态
6.活在今天
7.不要为小事烦心
8.计算事情发生的概率
9.接受不可避免发生的事实
第九篇 不要为金钱和工作烦恼
1.慎重做出职业生涯和生活中的重大决定
(1)研究职业选择建议
(2)避免哪些原已拥挤的职业和事业
(3)避免哪些维生机会只有1/10的行业
(4)决定投入一项职业之前，可以先花几个礼拜时间，对该项工作做个全盘认识。通过和从事该行业10年，20年，30年的人士面谈.
1)如果您的生命从头开始，您是否愿意在做一名建筑（XX）师？
2)您仔细打量我后，我想请问您觉得我是否具成为一名成功建筑师的要件？
3)建筑师这一行业是否已经人满为患？
4)如果我学习了4年建筑课程，要找工作是否困难？我应该首先接受哪一类的工作
5)如果我的能力中等，在头5年中，我可以希望赚多少钱
6)当一名建筑师有什么好处和坏处？
7)如果我是您儿子，您建议我当一名建筑师么？
(5)要知道每个人都可能在多项事业上成功！
2.不要总是为工作和金钱发愁
(1)把事实记在纸上
(2)拟出一个合适你的预算
(3)学习如何聪明地花钱
(4)不要为你的收入增加而头痛
(5)如果需要借贷，选择银行贷款
(6)投保意外保险
(7)人寿保险的收益不要一次现金付给受益人
(8)教导子女对金钱养成负责任的态度
(9)不要赌博-永远不要
(10)如果无法改善经济状况，不妨宽恕自己
3.处理好夫妻间的职业冲突
4.合理开支，不要入不敷出
第十篇 远离疲劳，保持活力
1.经常休息，在你感到倦怠之前
2.说出你的心事
3.消除烦闷心理
4.不再为失眠忧虑
网站评分
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下载点评
- 四星好评(135+)
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下载评价
- 网友 国***芳： ( 2025-01-09 01:51:27 )
五星好评
- 网友 芮***枫： ( 2025-01-04 22:11:52 )
有点意思的网站，赞一个真心好好好 哈哈
- 网友 菱***兰： ( 2024-12-11 13:57:03 )
特好。有好多书
- 网友 孙***夏： ( 2024-12-15 17:05:31 )
中评，比上不足比下有余
- 网友 习***蓉： ( 2024-12-30 16:49:43 )
品相完美
- 网友 邱***洋： ( 2025-01-08 02:23:26 )
不错，支持的格式很多
- 网友 马***偲： ( 2025-01-09 06:20:18 )
好 很好 非常好 无比的好 史上最好的
- 网友 国***舒： ( 2024-12-19 11:31:39 )
中评，付点钱这里能找到就找到了，找不到别的地方也不一定能找到
- 网友 石***致： ( 2024-12-25 14:19:25 )
挺实用的，给个赞！希望越来越好，一直支持。
- 网友 屠***好： ( 2024-12-15 03:59:25 )
还行吧。
- 网友 寿***芳： ( 2024-12-24 01:15:46 )
可以在线转化哦
- 网友 车***波： ( 2024-12-15 18:57:34 )
很好，下载出来的内容没有乱码。
- 网友 宫***凡： ( 2024-12-25 07:23:51 )
一般般，只能说收费的比免费的强不少。
全格式电子版 - 免费下载
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