一学就会的10堂妈妈理财课 在线下载 pdf mobi 2025 epub 电子版

谁说理财都是男人的事儿？

谁说孩子一来，就是一场金融危机？

怎样才能在照顾家庭的同时兼顾事业？

孩子的奶粉钱、将来的大学学费，要怎样保障？

今天的言传身教，能培养孩子明天的理财观念吗？

新时代的女性往往掌管着家庭的财政大权，经手的资产金额不菲，如何在家庭和职场之间保持平衡，如何使财务状况更上一层楼，是每个妈妈的必修课。

这本书深入挖掘多个智慧妈妈的经历，提供了可靠的职业建议、支出方案和储蓄策略，帮助每一位妈妈养成健康的理财习惯，从容面对变化的世界。

序 养育孩子是父母的一场推荐序一 妈妈的理财能力，对整个家庭至关重要　

推荐序二 学做智慧妈妈，拥有幸福人生　

推荐序三 学会理财，给孩子更美好的未来　

前　言　做个能带给自己和家人财务安全的聪明妈妈　

课 你真的“会”购物吗　

事实证明，妈妈的确在家庭消费方面扮演着十分重要的角色，这主要是因为

许多家庭消费行为都是由妈妈来完成的。绝大多数的消费品都由妈妈购买，

这些购买决定可比选哪种洗衣液重要多了。

不要让促销活动决定你的购买选择　

从商家那里拿回自己应得的　

学会控制过于旺盛的购物欲望　

有一笔短期储蓄用于应急和日常支出　

第二课 有的放矢，明确理财目标　

从某种意义上来说，几乎我们所有的目标都是跟钱挂钩的。金钱就是我们生

活中的暗流，金钱能够给我们自由的同时也束缚着我们。

目标明确：做聪明妈妈的步　

储蓄有方，还债有术　

井井有条地整理财务资料　

第三课 多了一个孩子，可没那么简单　

我们能够为自己和家人所做的好的事情就是做出明智的养育决定，然后尽

努力应对工作及生活中发生的一切。

为养育孩子做好财务准备工作　

添丁加口并不会让你增加太多费用　

第四课　除了工作和孩子，你可以有第三种选择　

事实上，聪明妈妈追求的并不是收入的化，而是职业满意度的化。从长

远来看，对工作满意有助于收入的提高，因为这样你的工作时间会更长些。

做妈妈，就要与灵活相伴　

懂得取舍　

女性创业者的天地　

第五课　享受投资　

聪明妈妈通常都会早早开始投资，她们会尽可能多地自学投资理财知识，仔

细研读金融新闻，耐心比较不同金融公司提供的各种服务，然后选择适合

自己的那个。

寻找你心中的投资人　

维持良好的婚姻需要财务交流　

为孩子的大学学费做好准备　

第六课　家庭财务中的危机管理　

如果突然面临变故，我们有能力独立管理自己的财务吗？如果我们的配偶突

然没有了收入，我们仍能支付得起房贷和其他基本费用吗？我们准备好遗产

规划文件和保险单了吗？

做好家庭财务资料分类　

保护自己和家人　

保管好你的电子资产　

使财务更具弹性　

第七课　照料父母：与养育孩子一样的理财难题　

从财务角度来讲，为照顾年迈的父母做准备与为迎接新生儿做准备有着许多

共通之处，但我们总是很容易忽视父母早晚也会需要我们照料的事实。

照顾父母是比照顾孩子更艰巨的任务　

与父母谈论财务话题　

第八课　从小培养孩子的理财意识　

我们就是自己孩子的榜样，而我们的孩子以后也会为人父母，他们在观察我

们是如何消费、储蓄、投资和捐赠的。

孩子像“小间谍”一样关注父母　

如何与孩子谈理财　

如何给孩子零花钱　

第九课　孩子独立后，你有更多事情可以做　

即将步入这个阶段的妈妈们退休在即，职业道路却动荡不定，妈妈们通常

都会在这时扪心自问：我应该怎么安排自己攒下的这些钱？等我老了之后，

我该怎么继续赚钱？

积极解决财务上的困惑　

积极尝试新事物　

积极加入社交媒体平台　

第十课　面对“归巢一族”，做好家庭财务掌权人　

即使在名义上，你的孩子已经独立了，但实际上他们可能还是需要你的指

导，需要你提供住所，甚至食物。如果你能在这时帮助他们的话，那你就可

以帮助他们步入人生正轨，让他们受益终身。

孩子离家后缩小居住规模　

感谢自己一路走到现在　

结 语 理财之外

妈妈理财实战手册

致 谢

注 释

索 引

 [美]金伯利•帕尔默

《美国新闻与世界报道》杂志的资深编辑和金融专栏作家，著有《私人经济：发掘你内心的企业家》。她是美国大学的兼职教授，讲授关于掌握社交媒体的课程。目前她与家人居住在华盛顿。

暂无出版社相关信息，正在全力查找中！

如何与孩子谈理财

你可以考虑与自己的子女进行以下对话。当然，要根据孩子的年龄、生活经历，以及整个家庭的文化氛围来具体判断。这些讨论的话题都是基于我以往对母亲、理财专家和研究人员的采访总结的，采访的主题主要是关于孩子需要学习哪些以及应该如何学习理财知识，才能游刃有余地处理复杂的理财问题。

No. 1 你在理财上所犯的错误

孩子总是喜欢听你讲述你自己犯过的错误。孩子在听你讲述这些事情的时候，会发现原来你也不是永远不犯错的，这会让他们知道自己的父母也不是完美的，因此犯错误并没有什么大不了。你可以跟孩子分享的错误类型包括：信用卡欠款过多、没有攒下足够多的钱、把钱挥霍在自己并不需要的东西上等等。

No. 2 你是如何赚钱的

如今，我们的工资都是直接打到银行卡里，我们购物不是在网上就是刷信用卡，这让商品交易的行为变得十分隐蔽。我的孩子觉得，只要在亚马逊上点几下按钮就能够收到任何他们想要的东西。跟孩子谈一下爸爸妈妈是怎样努力工作赚钱，然后再用这笔钱去购买食物、房子和汽车的，这样可以让孩子对这个虚拟的商务世界的感知变得更加具体有形一些。

等到孩子稍大些，他们就会慢慢明白人们赚钱的方式多种多样， 知道在当今社会具有进取精神是多么重要。一个十几岁的少女在Etsy上浏览手工艺小店的时候，可能就会因此爱上手工艺。在你的帮助下，她甚至能够开间自己的店铺（一定要不遗余力地鼓励女儿像男孩儿一样想方设法赚钱。嘉信理财针对青少年的调查发现，即使在青

少年时期，男孩儿赚的钱就已经比女孩儿多了，男孩儿能赚 1 880 美 元，而女孩只有 1 372 美元）。

No. 3 辩证地看待广告

难以置信，在我女儿 4 岁的时候，她对教育节目播出前插播的广告特别感兴趣，每次看到广告都会手舞足蹈。当屏幕上闪过一个五彩缤纷的玩具时，女儿对我说：

“我们需要买一个！”年幼的孩子还不能以批判性的眼光来看待广告，也不能区分什么是广告，什么是节目。因此作为父母，我们有责任保护他们。等到孩子长大之后，我们还要教他们以怀疑的态度看待广告里所给出的承诺。

非营利组织——常识媒体发现，广告无处不在，孩子几乎无处可躲：智能手机应用里、网站上，甚至儿童节目里也有植入广告。据常识媒体称，这些广告会对儿童造成严重的负面影响，比如不正确地认识自己的体形，甚至引起饮食障碍。亚利桑那大学研究发现，人们小时候看过的广告会一直影响着他们成年后的生活，比如会让他们喜欢含糖的麦片。鉴于广告对儿童的影响如此之大，我尽量避免让我的孩子看广告，而且打算等他们再长大些教会他们辩证地看待广告。此外，我还用常识媒体的电影评分机制为孩子挑选观看的节目和电影，避免他们观看那些充满消费主义、暴力和色情内容的东西。

No. 4 经济学基础

即使你对某些高水平的经济学词汇一知半解，但总是有那么一些 书能够寓教于乐，让你乐在其中。可以为 8~14 岁的孩子选择金融学教授奥利·萨德与作家艾伦·纽伯恩合著的小说《艾拉是怎样种出电吉他的》（How Ella Grew an Electric Guitar） 。该书十分适合学习经济学的基本概念和创业精神。作者写这本书也是受到家庭生活的启发：那时萨德四年级的女儿想要自己创业，但却找不到能够作为指导的书，因此萨德决定自己为女儿写一本。另一本适合青少年阅读的好书是艾丽莎·韦斯曼的《卖空者》

（The Short Seller） 。该书的内容主要是关于投资的。书中的主角在思家心切的时候学习了如何倒卖股票。

No. 5 立志高远

当孩子开始张口要昂贵的东西时（他们早晚会这样的） ，你可以鼓励他们自己发挥想象，好好考虑一下用什么方式能终攒够钱实现那个目标。这会让他们学会妥协，学会延迟享乐。对一个家庭来说，的目标之一恐怕就是攒大学学费了。当你的孩子提出大学学费的要求时，你可以跟他们解释自己是如何做出牺牲，为他们的教育攒钱的。

No. 6 学会慷慨和感恩

不同的家庭在看待和实践付出这件事的时候的表现是截然不同 的。据我所知，有些父母会固定拿出收入的 10%捐给宗教机构，而有些人的捐赠则比较随机，只要校园慈善基金募集者提出要求，他们就会写支票。不过，在我们家里，一个被大家共同认可的主题就是将感恩之心融入生活的点点滴滴中，无论是餐前的祈祷还是在每周一次的家庭聚会中交流彼此感恩的事情（这些都是我从小到大所做的事情）。

这么做的关键就在于从终日的索取中停下脚步，感恩自己所拥有的东西，这会在我们的内心培养一种富足感，同时也给我们一个机会，让我们思索该如何去帮助那些不太幸运的人。

No. 7 养成节约的习惯

《纽约时报》的专栏作家罗恩·利伯在他的《溺爱之反面》（The Opposite of Spoiled）一书中提出了可视化概念，对此我十分赞成。该书主要介绍了怎样把孩子培养得善于理财。在书中，利伯建议大家在一边画一根名叫“需要”的线，在另一边画一根名叫“想要”的线，然后分别在这两根线下面写下不同的物品。下次你的孩子提出要求的时候，让孩子自己考虑一下，他们的要求属于哪条线。

No. 8 保护在线隐私

保护隐私不仅仅是在保护孩子将来的财务安全，更是在保护孩子的人身安全。当孩子次上网的时候，我们可以向他们解释该如何对个人详细信息和相片进行安全设置，因为他们发布的东西很有可能会被陌生人所利用，而且会永久挂在网上被人搜索到。我们还可以教他们如何保护自己的出生日期，如何在注册在线账户的时候使用假名。网络隐私专家和作家朱丽亚·盎格文就是这么教育自己孩子的。按照以上方法，孩子和朋友在网上知道彼此是谁，但是他们对其他人却是匿名的——那些不想让病人在个人脸书上找到自己的健康专家就是这么做的。

No. 9 能够保护你免遭不幸的理财工具

即使是十几岁的孩子也会觉得这个话题有点儿无聊，我自己也是。我的母亲告诉过我，遗嘱和人寿保险十分重要，但直到我自己做妈妈的时候才真正领悟到这一点。尽管如此，我觉得还是有必要向那些二十几岁喜欢寻找刺激的年轻人强调一下，他们一定要确保自己有

相应的、到位的保护措施，比如租房保险（renter’s insurance）和健康保险。

No. 10 如何使用信用卡和银行账户

虽然我的父母经常与我讨论理财的话题，但信用卡和银行账户这个话题却是漏网之鱼。其结果就是，大学期间，一次出校游玩时，我 在自动柜员机前站了足足 5 分钟，还是搞不懂该怎么把银行卡插到自动柜员机里面并取出钱来，而我背后一大堆排成长队的人已经变得有些不耐烦了。几个月之后，我才意识到自己透支了银行账户，必须支付一笔罚金。好在这个教训付出的代价还不算太惨重，从那之后我再也没有透支过银行账户。但如果我十几岁的时候多去几趟银行的话，这些问题应该都是可以避免的。

同样，你也应该学会把每月的信用卡欠款全部还清，而不是只还限额。让孩子看着你管理账户、支付账单，可以让他们提早学习到这些东西。

No. 11 敢于直言（面对公司和老板）

当你打电话给某个公司要求退款或者要求提供更高品质的服务时，可以让孩子在旁边听着，让孩子看看你是怎么提出要求的。因为早晚有一天他们自己也需要做同样的事情。同样地，在孩子获得份工作之前就帮助他们练习如何提出更高的薪资要求，这样他们就可以学习正确的措辞，从而终习惯并接受协商这个概念。众所周知，尤其是女孩儿，会在这方面受益。

在我获得份工作，即将谈薪资问题的前一天晚上，我的父亲帮我练习了如何谈薪水。终在父亲的帮助下，我的起薪比原来 的高出 5 000 美元。而未来所有的薪资都是建立在份工作的基础 上的，在父亲的指导下，我的税后工资比原来高出了 100 000 美元。《谈判力》（Women Don’t Ask）的作者琳达·巴布科克和萨拉·拉斯谢弗曾做过的一项研究表明，与从不谈判的女性的收入相比，那些对薪 水进行谈判的女性的收入要高出至少 100 万美元。

No. 12 坦然接受退休和投资

在孩子十几岁的时候就让他们熟悉 401（k）账户能够帮助他们

提前做好准备，这样等到他们 20 多岁获得份工作的时候就可以开设自己的退休账户了。为消除年轻人对投资的恐惧，我们可以先多跟他们讨论这些话题，等他们做好心理准备的时候，我们甚至可以把自己的退休资料给他们看一下。

在线阅读地址：一学就会的10堂妈妈理财课在线阅读

在线听书地址：一学就会的10堂妈妈理财课在线收听

在线购买地址：一学就会的10堂妈妈理财课在线购买

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编辑推荐

1. 本书深入挖掘多个智慧妈妈的经历，给你中肯的职业建议、支出方案和储蓄策略等等干货，帮助每一位妈妈养成健康长远的理财习惯，成为独立自主、从容不迫的女性。

2. 10堂通俗易懂的理财课，10份具体的行动方案，金融专栏作家金伯利•帕尔默，帮你轻松搞定全家。

3. 理财专家刘彦斌、金V说总裁杨巍、长投网联合创始人水湄物语联袂推荐！

4. 你在20岁时的理财习惯，影响着日后的财务状况。妈妈的理财能力，影响着全家的财务自由，以及孩子的未来。

5. 书中附有《妈妈理财实战手册》。家庭理财目标？预算制定？哪些财务话题适合在妈妈们聚会时谈论？实战手册，一目了然。

媒体评论

理财图书市场好像忽视了女性的存在。事实上，女性，尤其是妈妈们，对家庭财产有着极其重要的决定权。女性的理财观念与能力，不仅会影响到女性自己，而且还会影响到整个家庭。

——著名理财专家 刘彦斌

在这本书里，你不仅可以看到许多鲜活的案例，知晓你面对的困难和问题其实不是问题，也会看到归纳整理的财务行动方案和具体的办法，这些可以用于指导你的具体实践。

——杨巍 金V说总裁

对于妈妈来说，学习理财，不仅仅是要让“现在”的生活变得更好，更是为了给孩子一个更美好的未来。

——水湄物语 长投网联合创始人

前言

做个能带给自己和家人财务安全的聪明妈妈

我坐在华盛顿的一家高档饭店里，面对着饭店里的木质吧台，与两位某著名投资杂志的编辑共进午餐，此刻这两位编辑正在向我解释为什么他们的金融报道只关注成熟男性。他们说：“我们的目标读者群是那些成熟男性，而非女性。”随后，他们继续解释道，这就是他们从不报道女人感兴趣的话题，且对自己一直以来的做法并未感到半点不安的原因。我心想，如果他们的文章是关于女性生育之后如何继续投资的内容，或者题材涉及再生一个宝宝对家庭财务目标的影响有多大，那他们的杂志可能就会吸引一定数量的女性读者了。

我一边仔细地切我盘中的烤花椰菜，一边将亚麻布的餐巾平铺在我的大腿上，心中思索着我们刚才的谈话是不是恰好呈现了金融界普遍存在的一个重要问题。一直以来，金融界都在很大程度上忽略了女性，就连广告都倾向于将老年男性作为重点关注对象，而仅仅将女性作为一种陪衬。注册理财规划师的人中，只有不足四分之一的人是女性。大多数投资和个人理财书籍都没有将妈妈们作为目标读者群。即便那些专门为妈妈们写的书，关注的重点也全都是怎样少买东西、多用优惠券。这些书实在是太不尊重女性了。为什么有专门针对男性的杂志和书籍，教他们怎样投资和致富，而女人就只能学着精打细算、量入为出？

那些少买东西、多用优惠券的理财方法一点儿都不适用于我们女性。事实上，女性，尤其是妈妈们，每天都要经手大量的钱财。女性所做的财务决策，不仅会影响自己，而且还会影响家庭。各项研究也表明，女性，尤其是妈妈们，对家庭财产有着极其重大的决定权。富达（Fidelity）的调查数据显示，绝大多数（85%）的消费品由女性购买，女性影响着95%的商品买卖和服务消费。2020年之前，这个国家三分之二的财富都将掌握在女性手中。此外，由于离婚或家人离世，90%的女性早晚都需要在人生的某个时刻独立处理自己的财务问题。而且，我们女性也已经开始赚钱养家了！皮尤研究中心（Pew Research Center）的报道称，在40%有子女的家庭中，妈妈是或者主要维持家庭生计的人。同样地，随着重组家庭、单亲妈妈和同性父母的数量日渐增多，女性作为家庭供养者、储蓄者、投资者的地位也在不断提高。

与此同时，行业调查也显示，金融界对女性的态度让她们十分不悦。波士顿咨询公司（Boston Consulting

Group）的一份调查发现，大多数女性对其金融服务提供商提供的服务水平表示不满。服务期间，许多女性称，男性顾问总是表现得高人一等。近，我的一位做理财顾问的朋友在喝咖啡的时候告诉我，他曾无意中听到他手下的一名年轻顾问在与一对夫妻谈话时，直接与其中的丈夫交谈，而且在提及这位男性的妻子时竟然使用第三人称——尽管这位妻子就坐在旁边。对此，我并不感到惊讶。鉴于上述理财顾问所给予的“礼遇”，怪不得 70%的女性在恢复单身的一年之内都会迅速换掉以前的顾问——如果理财顾问不能给予女性应有的尊重，那我们就雇用能够尊重我们的人。

根据我的个人生活以及朋友们的经验，大多数母亲都面临着特定的理财问题。几乎每个月都有至少一位朋友打电话给我，向我咨询接受新的工作机会之前，该怎样谈薪资，这些朋友一直都将日益增高的儿童护理费用纳入她们的预算考量当中。我和我大学时的闺密曾就一系列问题进行过长达数小时的辩论，这些问题包括生育之后应该休假多长时间，应该以什么样的身份回归职场，当妈妈之后是否应该继续努力为事业而奋斗。（针对这些问题，我们每个人都给出了不一样的答案，而且这些答案还是经常变化的。）我的朋友们都知道，我每天都写一些个人理财方面的文章，因此她们经常将自己遇到的各种理财问题用邮件发给我：人寿保险需要买多长时间的？是否应该跟丈夫分别办理银行账户？自己应该存多少钱？

随着新生儿诞生、家庭规模扩大，以上问题就变得愈加紧迫。我的妹妹在旧金山做家庭医生，在她怀孕期间，她面临的问题更多的是集中在财务方面而非生育本身。儿子的出生促使她和丈夫重新审视他们的退休储蓄，商量是否应该买套房子，他们甚至开始考虑处理诸如遗嘱立定之类的事情。正如我妹妹以及千千万万的母亲所经历的那样，在成为母亲的那一刻，你的整个人生观都发生了变化，这其中就包括你的理财观。突然之间，你开始越来越关心如何维持家庭财务稳定，关心是否能够支付每月的账单（这其中也包括与新生儿相关的各种新费用），开始为大学学费这样的重大目标存钱，担心自己是否能够在裁员或疾病等意外来临的时候从容应对。

尽管由于工作的原因我一直都在关注这些理财问题，但当真的涉及我自己的财务问题时，我也经常会手足无措。比如小儿子出生后怎么负担儿童护理费用，无薪产假期间我该如何在财务上做好准备，等等。一旦儿子出生，我的信用卡账单每月都要翻倍。除去尿布、婴儿食品、婴儿防晒霜等随机性的杂项支出，各种新费用的层出不穷也让我捉襟见肘。在面对这些日常花销的同时，我还要处理更大的财务问题，诸如如何提高我的个人收入，以及怎样为孩子上大学、为我们退休存钱。

几乎所有的妈妈都知道，新生儿的诞生会让人产生强烈的保护欲：刚才宝宝抽鼻子是不是意味着有什么严重的大病？这个婴儿床够安全吗？宝宝喝母乳够吗？这种保护欲会被，也应该被纳入财务安全的考虑范围。随着家庭的成长和成熟，作为母亲，我们对目前和将来的家庭财富都具有重大影响。本书将帮助你做出决策，为你和你的家庭增加财富。我们将一起发现妈妈们面临的特定问题和挑战，探讨解决这些问题和挑战的方法，内容涵盖工作、储蓄、投资，以及教育孩子从小学习理财技能等。我们将了解许多聪明妈妈的策略和秘诀，学习这些聪明妈妈是怎样为自己和家人做出明智选择的。此外，本书还提供了一系列的清单、模板和行动步骤。

事实上，早在我们做妈妈之前，早在我们意识到自己掌握着财务大权之前，有些人生的选择就已经确定了我们基本的财务状况。我们在二十几岁时形成的消费和存储习惯，我们选择的人生伴侣（如果有的话），以及我们追求的事业，以上所有这些都对我们未来的财富水平有着深远影响。这就是为什么我偶尔会在午休期间给我的妹妹发信息，敦促她不要再花钱做50美元一次的按摩，而是选择一种成本更低的放松方式，除此之外我还就她的约会和事业提出我的建议（我真是一个提供全方位服务的姐姐啊）。

这也是为什么每次一有新的调查显示年轻女性在基础理财知识方面明显落后于同龄男性时，我都感到心烦意乱。在美国国会山举办的一次活动中，富国银行（Wells Fargo）的研究人员称，相比同龄男性，女性在二十几岁的时候对自己的财务状况更加容易不满和悲观。同时，女性也更容易感到被债务压得喘不过气来。年轻女性的债务通常比年轻男性的债务要重得多。与同龄男性相比，二十几岁的女性赚钱少、存钱少、投资少。千禧一代的男性所拥有的可投资资产，几乎是同时代女性的两倍（男性 58 500 美元，女性 31 400 美元）。

经济合作与发展组织（OECD）曾在18个国家针对29 000名15岁的青少年展开一项国际调查。该项调查发现，在很小的年纪，女孩儿在理财素养和对自己能力的信心这两方面都明显弱于男孩儿。女孩儿在学习数学时得分更低，且在面对数学时会表现出更高的焦虑水平。在青春期开始之前，男女之间的差异就已经开始出现：2014年，普信集团（T. Rowe Price）曾针对年龄在 8~14 岁的儿童进行调查，发现相较女孩儿，男孩儿更可能向其父母谈论自己的财务目标，并认为自己善于理财。

而20年后，当我们成为母亲时，在理财方面表现出更低水平的自信心，也就不足为怪了。2015 年，富达对 1 542 名成年女性展开调查，发现大多数女性不愿意谈论财务方面的问题，即便是跟朋友、伴侣或理财专家。接受调查的绝大部分女性称，她们希望能够更多地进行自己的财产管理，但仅有 28%的女性称有选择投资产品的自信心，37%的女性称有安排自己退休计划的自信心。

实际上，很可能正是身为人母这件事会给我们的生活带来巨大的财务压力。不仅仅是因为孩子的花销巨大，还因为孩子的到来让我们的生活天翻地覆，这就让我们更难维持一份工作，进而更难支付各种费用。早在伊丽莎白·华伦涉足政坛被选为美国参议员之前，她的有关破产的研究就发现，单单成为母亲这件事，就为女性的财务状况拉响了警报。

鉴于以上不幸的事实，我们这些妈妈在学习如何产后减肥、祛皱，如何通过批量购买洗衣液节省10美元的同时，也应该学习一下如何积累财富。与上述两位友人共进午餐的确让我大开眼界，但与两位观点不同的是，妈妈们对生活和金钱的感受是不同于我们的父辈、兄弟、丈夫和儿子的——我们的感受也同样重要。从我们的孩子的角度出发，我们的感受甚至更重要些，因为大多数时候，我们才是真正掌握财政大权的人。子女的健康、理财和其他方面都要依靠我们。我们今天所做的决定影响着子女是否能够有一个稳定的家和丰富的三餐，是否能够报名参加自己喜爱的（并且昂贵的）课后活动，是否能够不用申请学生贷款就可以上大学。

在正确的指导下，我们可以行使财务大权，为自己和家人创造更加富足的生活。更加富足的生活不仅包括银行里的存款，也包括拥有自由选择生活方式的权利，自由选择能够使自己和家人达成一定社会目标和梦想的生活状态。

那次午餐之后，我决定进行更进一步的调查，直接与现实生活中的妈妈们谈话，因为这些妈妈每天都在为自己和家人做出财务上的决策。不管金融行业如何看待妈妈们，她们都是美国家庭中财务管理的真正掌权者。确切地说，我想揭开聪明妈妈的秘密，看看她们是如何做出财务决策，给她们的家人带去安全和财富的。我知道我和其他妈妈可以从这些聪明妈妈身上学到很多东西，而且我也的确学到了很多，比我预想的还要多。实际上，在我研究的过程中，我的理财生活就已经发生了很多重大的改变。改变的事情有大有小，小到家庭出游，我总是带着自己的钱包，即便知道我的丈夫肯定带了钱包；大到更多地参与到家庭长期储蓄和投资的管理中，尤其是用于孩子大学学费的储蓄和投资（实际上，在为第五课内容做调查之后，我次给我的两个孩子分别办理了 529 账户）。我们家里有一份加密的电子表格，记录了我们各种账户和贷款的明细，我不再像往常那样心安理得地让我的丈夫维护表格，而是自己下载了一份到我的电脑上（并确保我知道密码）。同时，我开始经常与女儿交流财务问题（等我儿子长大一点儿，我也会跟他多交流），因为我意识到这种谈话具有十分重大的影响。我也询问我父母的财务状况，毕竟他们日渐年迈，这样我能为帮助他们做更加充分的准备。

据我观察，聪明妈妈看起来和你遇到的普通妈妈没有什么区别。但如果你查看一下她们的银行账户、信用卡对账单和钱包的话，就会发现一些不同寻常的地方：尽管在抚养子女期间收入明显减少，但聪明妈妈总是能够自己赚到钱。聪明妈妈在银行里有足够的短期存款，供她们用于意外开支，或者应对收入的暂时性减少。她们优先安排短期存储，并还清所有高利率的借贷。她们购买合适的保险，以应对悲剧的发生。聪明妈妈为她们的子女做出了很好的致富榜样，这样她们的子女就可以早早地养成良好的理财习惯。如果一件东西可以给她们自己或者家人带来幸福，聪明妈妈就会毫不犹豫地购买。她们积极地为自己的储蓄和投资做出决策，绝不会轻易将财务管理的控制权交给自己的另一半。聪明妈妈有着清晰的财务和人生目标，并不断向着目标前进——尽管有时步伐比较缓慢。她们可以轻松自信地谈论自己的财务状况。对她们来说，管理财务就像泡澡一样令她们感到熟悉和愉悦。

无论钱多钱少，聪明妈妈总是能给她们自己和家人带去安全感。成为一个聪明妈妈并不意味着必须赚很多钱，积累很多的财富，或者拥有一栋价值百万的房子。本书中介绍的聪明妈妈来自各行各业，她们中有教师、护士、自由撰稿人，还有律师、商人和理财专家。她们中有人是单亲妈妈，有人还十分年轻，也有人年龄稍长。尽管她们的收入和存款水平各不相同，但她们在做出聪明理财选择时表现出的那种从容、自信和踏实，却是共同的。

以下各个章节披露了聪明妈妈的秘密策略、技巧和建议，帮你制定相应的策略，在积累财富、重建生活的过程中助你一臂之力。

书籍介绍

谁说理财都是男人的事儿？

谁说孩子一来，就是一场金融危机？

怎样才能在照顾家庭的同时兼顾事业？

孩子的奶粉钱、将来的大学学费，要怎样保障？

今天的言传身教，能培养孩子明天的理财观念吗？

新时代的女性往往掌管着家庭的财政大权，经手的资产金额不菲，如何在家庭和职场之间保持平衡，如何使财务状况更上一层楼，是每个妈妈的必修课。

这本书深入挖掘多个智慧妈妈的经历，提供了可靠的职业建议、支出方案和储蓄策略，帮助每一位妈妈养成健康的理财习惯，从容面对变化的世界。

• 作者：新月 发布时间：2023-09-10 16:38:19

  尽可能多存钱，强制储蓄，女性更要学会投资，一定不要失去赚钱的能力

• 作者：Vanor 发布时间：2019-12-09 19:27:43

  长见识

• 作者：青柠 发布时间：2023-11-14 13:47:59

  挺一般的 很快就能看完 基本教的都是挺日常的常识 感觉也没带给我什么新的启发 而且国情不同 有的东西我们不适用

• 作者：小月亮 发布时间：2020-06-25 14:46:49

  这本书读起来，有点像一位上了年纪的长辈，告诉晚辈一些道理，关于理财投资，关于人生。有一定的启发作用，而且读起来很轻松。

• 作者：ShawnZ 发布时间：2022-10-16 23:22:23

  女性的角度来看待理财，这本书有一些家庭理财的基本观念，坐在图书馆里很快刷完

• 作者：Julia 发布时间：2019-04-30 16:22:22

  典型的畅销理财书，作者的理财技能并不专业，但是这本书一定会吸引妈妈们的眼球，有时候，我们从好的理财畅销书里学到的东西可能比经典的投资书籍里学到的更多，更有用，因为我们每个人只是普通人，我们只需要解决生活中的困惑，让我们知道普通人的更多可能性，妈妈们还可以怎么选择，怎么改变，我们并不想成为理财专家。

• 激情无法持久

  作者：Biomass 发布时间：2014-11-18 22:20:35

  《奥赛罗》的主题是一个异乡人无法克制的不安全感。他不属于威尼斯的公民共同体，而是浪人。他在这里，留下来，不是因为他的资格，而是因为他被需要。他在反驳伊阿古对勃拉班修的小报告的时候，指出凭借他的军功（以及很可能是捏造出来的“祖上优秀出身”），威尼斯的元老（共同体的代表）就已经亏欠他很多。然而这恰好是奥赛罗最大的弱点所在：除了军功他在威尼斯其实一无所有，他其实并不具有合法地位。这里的“合法”与其说是规范意义上的，不如是心理主义的：在威尼斯和奥赛罗中间，被一层缺乏信任和确定性带来的焦虑和猜忌所区隔。他爱苔丝德蒙娜，就也需要她需要她。这种需要是如同市场行情一般阴晴不定的变化。实际上正如同他和威尼斯公民群体的关系。奥赛罗的心态是焦虑的，他必须不断确认：一次次建立在威尼斯的功勋，一次次在苔丝德蒙娜面前建立完美的形象，而这种行为就好像是在流沙上建立塔楼，最轻微的震动就会崩塌。我们必须注意，奥赛罗的反应与其说是他个人的性格缺陷，不如说是顺理成章且合理的。他对苔丝德蒙娜的怀疑是对其自身自卑的投射，然而这种自卑并不能全怪在浅薄的“种族歧视”上。尽管他厚嘴唇、皮肤黑，但这种生理特征对西西里岛的住民来说并不罕见。这种自卑的根源是他对自己浪士身份的准确认知。他必须不断地给苔丝德蒙娜、也给自己抛出理由，“证明”爱是值得的，甚至爱是存在的。他需要不断的开动情感泵，生产名为“爱”的刺激。他很清楚一旦这种“爱”开始消退，就会不可避免的衰败为他不愿意接受的结局，所以对哪怕是最微小的衰败迹象都要极为敏感的过度反应，对奥赛罗来说是理性的、也是唯一的选择。

  他感到对苔丝德蒙娜有所愧疚，甚至怀疑自己是骗子，如果爱是靠激情塑造出的形象才得以成立，那么激情消退，这一形象的虚假性就显露无疑。奥赛罗怀疑苔丝德蒙娜爱上的不是自己，而是自己的影子，他的失败注定在于人不可能成为他自己的影子，演技太累，早晚要穿帮。这个解读的线索要从伊阿古的言谈中去找，伊阿古是整个戏剧中最诚实的人，他虽然满嘴谎言，安着坏心眼，但所有的分析都是真确的。

  伊阿古的作恶缺乏动机并不是戏剧缺陷，他报复奥赛罗和凯西奥并不为了他自己，他策划的这一切对他来说没有半点可以弥补的现实利益可言，除了满足他出奇庞大的报复欲之外，他就是喜欢看到好人受到折磨，并乐在其中。然而和奥赛罗不同，他不是妄想狂，他不用活在自己的幻想里，反而对现实和人心的隐秘动机有最细微的把握，世界对他来说不是危险的：提线木偶对木偶师来说从来不是危险的。奥赛罗是“好人”，却无法摆脱焦虑，伊阿古是坏人，却从来心安理得。然则伊阿古的报应却来的巧妙：他终究不能理解，其实一个人行善的愿望，确实构成动力学意义上的“动机”，他其实不懂好人是一种什么生物。这个故事在隐晦的告诉我们，凡是被伊阿古操纵心智的人，都不是上述意义上的好人。他们都有自己的罪。如果奥赛罗的罪是心虚以及夸大和虚伪，苔丝德蒙娜的罪大概就是愚昧和盲目：我希望我这个结论不是太过苛刻。

• 如何坦诚地管理，硅谷老鸟如是说

  作者：土拨松鼠 发布时间：2017-10-09 16:36:16

  作者Kim Scott是原Google和Apple的中层管理人员，相比讲大道理，她讲了不少亲身经历。

  读此书常触景生情，看到某些片段会回想起自己碰过的钉子。比如前言里Kim提及她犯的一个错误——因为担心伤害一个团队成员感情没有及时指出他的不足，浪费了团队很多时间和不少其他成员的积极性，而对方在被开时也十分震惊。个人也曾犯同样错误，造成严重后果。

  全书核心有两点：care personally, challenge directly。

  翻译过来应该是：关心个人，直接挑战。

  怎么做很有讲究。有人不满时会说You are shit，而乔帮主则会说Your work is shit。指出对方的错误，而不是指责其人格。这些方法因人而异，要考虑文化以及双方关系。说话注意艺术，直接挑战对方也要注意方法；同时双方关系也极其重要。良好的人际关系会让沟通更具效果。

  很多人（包括楼主）在直言方面显得大义凌然、一副为对方着想的样子，却很少照顾对方的感受。关系不到位，对方往往抗拒，甚至跳起来。

  关于如何管理下属野心这个问题，Kim有很好的方法。我们不应老想着压制下属，更好的方法是了解他们的愿景，帮助其做规划（

  这点极其有用

  ）。甚至不排除自己将来为某些有潜力的下属打工。

  另外Kim还提及一个很有意思的话题，就是日常工作中如何鼓励下属批评你。很多时候我们都听不到坦诚的意见，在如何鼓励他人给我们坦诚意见方面，Kim给了我们很好的建议。

  关于一些让很多管理者头疼的问题——如何表扬或批评下属，如何提拔、鼓励、奖励、开除员工，防止职场的疲劳、维系团队稳定，Kim都有较好的讲解。

  管理是一个与人打交道的长期、琐碎的过程，需要非常用心。如作者在书中所说，讲道理并没什么卵用，得结合实际操作才行。

  本书理论结合实操。Kim Scott用多年经验告诉我们实际的步骤，如何更好的处理。

  如果你是老鸟，可以从她那学习如何更进一步；如果是新手，可能更有帮助。

  个人摘选了一些自认为有用的句子，记录下来以便以后快速回顾（因为懒没翻译）：

  PART I: A NEW MANAGEMENT PHILOSOPHY

  1. BUILD RADICALLY CANDID RELATIONSHIPS:

  Bringing your whole self to work

  There are few things more damaging to human relationships than a sense of superiority.

  CARE PERSONALLY: THE FIRST DIMENSION OF RADICAL CANDOR

  Caring personally is not about memorizing birthdays and names of family members. Nor is it about sharing the sordid details of one’s personal life, or forced chitchat at social events you’d rather not attend. Caring personally is about doing things you already know how to do. It’s about acknowledging that we are all people with lives and aspirations that extend beyond those related to our shared work. It’s about finding time for real conversations; about getting to know each other at a human level; about learning what’s important to people; about sharing with one another what makes us want to get out of bed in the morning and go to work—and what has the opposite effect.

  CHALLENGE DIRECTLY: THE SECOND DIMENSION OF RADICAL CANDOR

  Challenging others and encouraging them to challenge you helps build trusting relationships because it shows 1) you care enough to point out both the things that aren’t going well and those that are and that 2) you are willing to admit when you’re wrong and that you are committed to fixing mistakes that you or others have made. But because challenging often involves disagreeing or saying no, this approach embraces conflict rather than avoiding it.

  Former Secretary of State Colin Powell once remarked that being responsible sometimes means pissing people off.

  2. GET, GIVE, AND ENCOURAGE GUIDANCE:

  Creating a culture of open communication

  Just remember that being a boss is a job, not a value judgment.

  Be as specific and thorough with praise as with criticism. Go deep into the details.

  Start by getting feedback, in other words, not by dishing it out. Then when you do start giving it, start with praise, not criticism. When you move on to criticism, make sure you understand where the perilous border between Radical Candor and Obnoxious Aggression is.

  Start by asking for criticism, not by giving it Don’t dish it out before you show you can take it

  Bosses get Radically Candid guidance from their teams not merely by being open to criticism but by actively soliciting it. If a person is bold enough to criticize you, do not critique their criticism. If you see somebody criticizing a peer inappropriately, say something. But if somebody criticizes you inappropriately, your job is to listen with the intent to understand and then to reward the candor.

  How do you criticize without discouraging the person? First, ......, focus on your relationship. Also, ... ask for criticism before giving it, and offer more praise than criticism. Be humble, helpful, offer guidance in person and immediately, praise in public, criticize in private, and don’t personalize.

  3. UNDERSTAND WHAT MOTIVATES EACH PERSON ON YOUR TEAM:

  Helping people take a step in the direction of their dreams

  When assessing a person’s past performance, it’s useful to consider both their results and more intangible things like “teamwork.”

  your job is not to provide purpose but instead to get to know each of your direct reports well enough to understand how each one derives meaning from their work.

  Be a partner, not an absentee manager or a micromanager

  One of the most common mistakes bosses make is to ignore the people who are doing the best work because “they don’t need me” or “I don’t want to micromanage.” Ignoring somebody is a terrible way to build a relationship.

  Managers often devote more time to those who are struggling than to those who are succeeding. But that’s not fair to those who are succeeding—nor is it good for the team as a whole.

  And seeing what truly exceptional performance looks like will help those who are failing to see more clearly what’s expected of them.

  In addition to top ratings, a great way to recognize people in a rock star phase is to designate them as “gurus,” or “go-to” experts. Often this means putting them in charge of teaching newer team members, if they show the aptitude for it.

  Is it time to fire her? There’s no absolute answer to that question, but here are three questions to consider: have you given her Radically Candid guidance, do you understand the impact of Peggy’s performance on her colleagues, and have you sought advice from others?

  --If the answer is yes and you have not seen improvement, or have seen only flickers of improvement, it’s time.

  Make sure that you are seeing each person on your team with fresh eyes every day. People evolve, and so your relationships must evolve with them. Care personally; don’t put people in boxes and leave them there.

  4. DRIVE RESULTS COLLABORATIVELY:

  Telling people what to do doesn’t work

  “If you want to build a ship, don’t drum up people to collect wood and don’t assign them tasks and work, but rather teach them to long for the endless immensity of the sea.”

  The process, which I call the “Get Stuff Done” (GSD) wheel, is relatively straightforward.

  GSD wheel:

  listen -> clarify -> debate -> decide -> persuade -> execute -> learn, and backforth

  Jony Ive, Apple’s chief design officer, once said at an Apple University class that a manager’s most important role is to “give the quiet ones a voice.” I love this. Google CEO Eric Schmidt took the opposite approach, urging people to “Be loud!”

  You have to find a way to listen that fits your personal style, and then create a culture in which everyone listens to each other, so that all the burden of listening doesn’t fall on you.

  Some people feel a quiet listener is not listening at all but instead setting a trap: waiting for others to say the wrong thing so they can pounce. If you’re a quiet listener, then, you need to take steps to reassure those made uncomfortable by your style.

  It’s hard enough to get yourself to listen to your team members and let them know you are listening; getting them to listen to one another is even harder. The keys are 1) have a simple system for employees to use to generate ideas and voice complaints, 2) make sure that at least some of the issues raised are quickly addressed, and 3) regularly offer explanations as to why the other issues aren’t being addressed.

  At Google, people constantly came to me with good ideas—more than I could handle, in fact—and it became overwhelming. So I organized an “ideas team” to consider them. For context, I circulated an article from Harvard Business Review (HBR) that explained how a culture that captures thousands of “small” innovations can create benefits for customers that are impossible for competitors to imitate. One big idea is pretty easy to copy, but thousands of tweaks are impossible to see from the outside, let alone imitate.

  Nothing is a bigger time-sucker or blocker to getting it right than ego. On a broad level, this means intervening when you start to sense that people are thinking, “I’m going to win this argument,” or “my idea versus your idea,” or “my recommendation versus your recommendation,” or “my team feels…” Redirect them to focus on the facts; don’t allow people to attribute ownership to ideas, and don’t get hijacked by how others who aren’t in the room might (or might not) feel.

  Another way to help people search for the best answer instead of seeking ego validation is to make them switch roles. If a person has been arguing for A, ask them to start arguing for B. If a debate is likely to go on for some time, warn people in advance that you’re going to ask them to switch roles. When people know that they will be asked to argue another person’s point, they will naturally listen more attentively.

  One of the reasons that people find debate stressful or annoying is that often half the room expects a decision at the end of the meeting and the other half wants to keep arguing in a follow-up meeting. One way to avoid this tension is to separate debate meetings and decision meetings. Another way to ease the anxiety of the people who want to know when the decision will get made is to have a “decide by” date next to each item being debated.

  I recommend setting up a weekly “big debate” meeting.

  That is why kick-ass bosses often do not decide themselves, but rather create a clear decision-making process that empowers people closest to the facts to make as many decisions as possible. Not only does that result in better decisions, it results in better morale.

  The decider should get facts, not recommendations

  When collecting information for a decision, we are often tempted to ask people for their recommendations—“What do you think we should do?”—but as one executive I worked with at Apple explained to me, people tend to put their egos into recommendations in a way that can lead to politics, and thus worse decisions.

  Even explaining the decision is not enough, because that addresses only the logic; you have to address your listener’s emotions as well. And you must establish that the decider, whether that’s you or somebody else on your team, has credibility if you expect others to execute on the decision.

  But even more democratic, open bosses often get so lost in explaining the rationale for a decision that they forget how people must feel about it, or vice versa.

  Aristotle was troubled that so much rhetoric and persuasion came down to manipulating people’s emotions. He thought that there had to be a better way to get an idea across to a large number of people who don’t have the time or knowledge to understand it completely. He resolved this by explaining that to be legitimately persuasive a speaker must address the audience’s emotions but also establish the credibility and share the logic of the argument.

  When Steve Jobs had an idea, he wouldn’t just describe the idea; he’d share how he got to it. He showed his work.

  But you need to learn to toggle between leading and executing personally. Don’t abandon the first for the second; integrate the two. If you get too far away from the work your team is doing, you won’t understand their ideas well enough to help them clarify, to participate in debates, to know which decisions to push them to make, to teach them to be more persuasive. The GSD wheel will grind to a halt if you don’t understand intimately the “stuff” your team is trying to get done.

  It can take almost superhuman discipline to step back, acknowledge when our results could be a lot better or are simply no good, and learn from the experience.

  PART II: TOOLS & TECHNIQUES

  5. RELATIONSHIPS:

  An approach to establishing trust with your direct reports

  In life, I learned that too much emphasis on shareholder value actually destroys value, as well as morale. Instead, I learned to focus first on staying centered myself, so that I could build real relationships with each of the people who worked for me. Only when I was centered and my relationships were strong could I fulfill my responsibilities as a manager to guide my team to achieve the best results.

  Hard times are made much harder when you’re not at your best. And they can make it particularly hard to “care personally” about the people you work with, not to mention those you live with.

  The essence of leadership is not getting overwhelmed by circumstances.

  It’s even more important to focus on making time for whatever keeps you centered when you are stressed and busy than when things are relatively calm.

  You can guide your team to get results if you’ve built a trusting relationship with each person reporting to you, and there can only be real trust when people feel free at work. The first rule of building the kind of relationship with the people that will make them feel free at work is to relinquish unilateral authority.

  Building trust in any relationship takes time because trust is built on a consistent pattern of acting in good faith. It’s a big mistake to assume too much trust too quickly (e.g., by prying into deeply personal questions when you barely know a person). On the other hand, you do need to start somewhere.

  Probably the most important thing you can do to build trust is to spend a little time alone with each of your direct reports on a regular basis.

  You don’t have to share the same deeply personal values to build good relationships at work; and it’s a terrible idea to try to convince your colleagues that your values are “right” and theirs are “wrong.” But you do need to respect other people’s values when they do share them with you.

  A radically candid relationship starts with the basic respect and common decency that every human being owes each other, regardless of worldview. Once again, the work is the bond everybody on a team does share, and the most productive way to strengthen that bond is by learning how to work together in ways that benefit everyone involved.

  If you have a truly terrible emotional upset in your life, stay home for a day. You don’t want to spread it around any more than you’d want to spread a bad virus around the office, and emotions are just as contagious as germs.

  Emotional reactions can offer important clues to help you better understand what’s really going on with the people you manage.

  So don’t respond to outbursts or sullen silences by pretending they are not happening. Don’t try to mitigate them by saying things like, “It’s not personal,” or “Let’s be professional.” Instead say, “I can see you’re mad/frustrated/elated/____”

  When somebody is frustrated or angry or upset enough about a situation at work that they react emotionally, this is your cue to keep asking questions until you understand what the real issue is. Don’t over-direct the conversation; just keep listening and it will become clear.

  BUILDING RELATIONSHIPS WITH your direct reports takes time and real energy. Sometimes, especially when things are not going well, this will be the most depleting part of your job. Remembering that it is central to your job will help. And if you can power through these times, you may find as I have that these relationships give your work meaning far beyond the results that you achieve together.

  6. GUIDANCE:

  Ideas for getting/giving/ encouraging praise & criticism

  That’s why when you become the boss it’s important to work so hard to earn your team’s trust. You may be worried about earning their respect, and that’s natural. Unfortunately, though, being overly focused on respect can backfire because it’ll make you feel extra defensive when criticized. If, on the other hand, you can listen to the criticism and react well to it, both trust and respect will follow.

  When you encourage people to criticize you publicly, you get the chance to show your team that you really, genuinely want the criticism.

  When you’re the boss, it’s awkward to ask your direct reports to tell you frankly what they think of your performance—even more awkward for them than it is for you. To help, I adopted a go-to question that Fred Kofman, author of Conscious Business and my coach at Google, suggested. “Is there anything I could do or stop doing that would make it easier to work with me?”

  Most people will initially respond to your question with something along the lines of “Oh, everything is fine, thank you for asking,” and hope that’s the end of the conversation.

  One technique is to count to six before saying anything else, forcing them to endure the silence. The goal is not to be a bully but to insist on a candid discussion—to make it harder for the person to say nothing than to tell you what they’re thinking.

  ...... developed a technique called “situation behavior impact” to help leaders be more precise and therefore less arrogant when giving feedback. This simple technique reminds you to describe three things when giving feedback: 1) the situation you saw, 2) the behavior (i.e., what the person did, either good or bad), and 3) the impact you observed. This helps you avoid making judgments about the person’s intelligence, common sense, innate goodness, or other personal attributes.

  If you wait too long to give guidance, everything about it gets harder.

  Be sure to let people know immediately how their work is being received. If you ask somebody to do work to help you prepare for a meeting or a presentation where that person won’t be present, be sure to let them know the reaction to their work.

  I found that praising people at a public all-hands meeting was a great way to share significant accomplishments. However, I often found that following up in person at a 1:1 carried more emotional weight, and following up with an email to the whole team carried more lasting weight.

  When offering guidance to your boss, use the same tips above: be helpful, humble, do it immediately and in person, praise in public (if it doesn’t look like kissing up), criticize in private, and don’t personalize.

  The ability to be Radically Candid with your boss is crucial to your success. One of the most difficult things about being a middle manager ... is that you often wind up responsible for executing decisions that you disagree with. This can feel like a Catch-22. If you tell your team you do agree with the decisions, you feel like a liar—or at the very least, inauthentic. If you tell your team that you don’t agree with the decisions, you look weak, insubordinate, or both.

  Radical Candor is the way out of this dilemma.

  Asking each of my direct reports to give me a performance review before I gave them one was helpful. The main advantage here was that it made the review feel more like a two-way conversation and less like an arrogant one-way judgment.

  Spend half the time looking back (diagnosis), half the time looking forward (plan).

  ONE OF THE most important ways to create an environment in which Radical Candor trumps political BS is to never let one person on your team talk to you about another behind their back.

  ROXANE WALES, WHO worked first at NASA and then in Learning and Development at Google, once told me that one of the most important things any manager of managers could do to foster a culture of guidance was to have so-called “skip level meetings.”

  Never have a skip level meeting without prior consent of your direct report. Instead, ask the managers who report to you to explain the whole thing to their teams beforehand. It’s vital that everyone understands that the meeting with you is in support of, not an attack on, their boss.

  Project the notes you take during the meeting, and let people know that you will share them with the manager.

  THE KEY TO success when implementing any of these suggestions is to return to core principles, rather than following step-by-step instructions....

  Whenever you feel yourself getting lost in the weeds, simply return to these two questions: “Am I showing my team that I care personally?” and “Am I challenging each person directly?” If the answer to both questions is yes, you’re doing just fine.

  7. TEAM:

  Techniques for avoiding boredom and burnout

  He taught every manager on his team to have a succession of three forty-five-minute conversations with each direct report over the course of three to six weeks.

  Russ’s approach was so successful that an internal survey of employee satisfaction showed the people on his team displaying a marked increase in optimism about their futures at Google and their positive feelings about their managers. Nobody from HR had ever seen such an improvement.

  Conversation one: life story

  The second conversation: dreams

  Russ suggests encouraging people to come up with three to five different dreams for the future. This allows employees to include the dream they think you want to hear as well as those that are far closer to their hearts.

  The final part of Russ’s second conversation involves making sure that the person’s dreams are aligned with the values they have expressed.

  Conversation three: eighteen-month plan

  Helping people clarify values and dreams and then aligning them as closely as possible with their current work will invariably make your team stronger.

  Too often, the people who have the most senior roles are given the highest ratings when in fact they are surfing on the productivity of the people working for them. Don’t let that happen!

  In practice, most management teams respond in the reverse manner—a greater percentage of senior rather than junior people get put in the superstar box. If this happens, ask some hard questions and make sure there’s an identifiable, justifiable reason for it.

  An example of a good prescreen is a skills assessment: ask potential candidates to do a project or solve a problem related to the job they’re applying for. This will weed out a number of candidates who look good on paper but can’t actually do the work. It will also give candidates who’d be great at the job but look bad on paper the opportunity to interview.

  Four people is about the right size for an interview committee. Ideally, the interviewing committee is diverse....It’s also helpful if at least one of the interviewers is on another team. This prevents “desperation hiring.” When there’s a “hole” on a team, people become so eager to fill the position that they ignore warning signals. Somebody who isn’t feeling the pain of the hole on the team as acutely is more likely to point out these danger signs.

  Casual interviews reveal more about team fit than formal ones.

  Another good practice is to have people intentionally create more casual moments—take candidates to lunch, walk them to the car. Ask the receptionist and schedulers if they had any reaction to the candidate. In unguarded moments, candidates will do or say revealing things.

  Make interviews productive by jotting down your thoughts right away. Write down your interview feedback; doing that is as clarifying for you as it is for the rest of the committee, and it will result in better hiring decisions.

  The best advice I ever got for hiring somebody is this: if you’re not dying to hire somebody, don’t make an offer.

  Firing people is hard, and it ought to be hard. But if you do three things, you can make it far, far easier on the person you are firing—as well as on yourself and your team.

  Don’t wait too long

  Don’t make the decision unilaterally

  Give a damn

  Follow up

  Announcing promotions breeds unhealthy competition for the wrong things: documentation of status rather than development of skill.

  Focus on the work the person is doing, not the status they’ve achieved in the company for doing it.

  THERE ARE FEW pleasures greater than being part of a team where everyone loves their job and loves working together. You can build a team like that if you have career conversations with each of the people on your team, create growth-management plans for each person who works for you once a year, hire the right people, fire the appropriate people, promote the right people, and reward the people who are doing great work but who shouldn’t be promoted, and offer yourself as a partner to your direct reports.

  8. RESULTS:

  Things you can do to get stuff done together—faster

  Whether you want a structured agenda or you prefer a more free-flowing meeting, the agenda itself should be directed by your direct report, not you. Your job is to hold people accountable when they come unprepared—or to decide that it’s fine to have an agenda-less 1:1 from time to time.

  If you hear only good news, it’s a sign people don’t feel comfortable coming to you with their problems, or they think you won’t or can’t help. In these cases, you need to ask explicitly for the bad news. Don’t let the issue drop till you hear some.

  An effective staff meeting has three goals: it reviews how things have gone the previous week, allows people to share important updates, and forces the team to clarify the most important decisions and debates for the coming week.

  I have found that the most effective solution is simply to fight fire with fire. For the same reason, I blocked off think-time in calendar; I also found it necessary to block off time in my calendar to be alone and execute. I encouraged others to do the same. This helped them say “no” to more unnecessary meetings.

  Awareness of these small problems can be useful in several ways.

  First they’ll help you find the devil in the details.

  Second, being aware of small problems and maybe even rolling up your sleeves and fixing them yourself is the best way to kill the “it’s not my job” or, worse, the “that’s beneath me” mentality on your team. If nothing is beneath your attention, then others will pay attention to details as well.

  Third, when you show that you care about the small things that contribute to customer happiness or the quality of life on your team, suddenly everybody cares more about them, and some of the big things start working better, too.

  “CULTURE EATS STRATEGY for lunch.” A team’s culture has an enormous impact on its results, and a leader’s personality has a huge impact on a team’s culture. Who you are as a human being impacts your team’s culture enormously.

  When you become the boss, you are under the microscope. People do listen to you in an intense way you never experienced before you became a manager. They attribute meaning—sometimes accurately, sometimes not—to what you say, to the clothes you wear, to the car you drive. In some ways, becoming a boss is like getting arrested. Everything you say or do can and will be used against you.

  When you’re the boss and shit happens, it’s your responsibility to learn from it and make a change. If you don’t, you create a culture that doesn’t learn from its mistakes.

  The most amazing thing about a culture is that once it’s strong, it’s self-replicating.

  GETTING STARTED

  Now it’s time to start putting the suggestions in this book into practice.

  SHARE YOUR STORIES

  EXPLAIN RADICAL CANDOR to your team so they understand what you’re up to. You can also ask them to read the book, or show them videos that are on the Radical Candor website. But it’s best if you explain it in your own words.

  PROVE YOU CAN TAKE IT BEFORE YOU START DISHING IT OUT

  START ASKING YOUR team to criticize you. ... And remember, don’t let people off the hook when they don’t say much—because they won’t, at first. Embrace the discomfort to move past it. Pay close attention if you aren’t getting any criticism.

  Soliciting guidance, especially criticism, is not something you do once and check off your list—this will now be something you do daily.

  Now you’re ready to start having career conversations. Begin “career conversations” with your team. Start with people whom you’ve been working with for the longest.

  Like getting criticism from your team, “career conversations” are not something you do once and check off the list. Remember, people change, and you need to change with them!

  In parallel: perfect your 1:1 conversations.

  Next. After you have explained Radical Candor, asked for guidance, had career conversations, and improved your 1:1 conversations, you’ll notice that you are earning your team’s trust and building a better culture. Now you’re ready to start improving the way you give impromptu praise and criticism. Remember, impromptu guidance happens best in one- to two-minute conversations.

  Take a deep breath. Assess.

  Don’t try to do more new things until you feel 1) you’ve made good progress on the fundamental building block of management: getting and giving guidance, 2) you’ve gotten to know your direct reports better, and 3) you’re happy with your 1:1s.

  If the answer to these three questions is “yes,” you’re ready to perfect staff meetings, decisions, and debates for your team.

  Return to guidance. Make sure you are encouraging guidance between people on your team. Establish a “no backstabbing” or require a “clean escalation” norm on your team.

  Fight meeting proliferation. Make sure you’re not getting overscheduled. Think very consciously about what you are doing that you can stop doing. Put some think time in your calendar.

  Plan for the future of your team. Start doing a growth-management plan for each person on your team.

  Return to guidance. Ask your team to start gauging each other’s guidance. There are more of them than there are of you, so anything you can do to get them to give one another more Radically Candid praise and criticism will reinforce a Radically Candid culture and provide you with more leverage than any amount of guidance you can give or get personally.

  Walk around. ... Put aside some time each week to walk around and have informal spontaneous chats with people. If you have a feeling that things are still not going well, and that there’s a lot of skepticism on the team, go back to step one.

  Begin to take a more Radically Candid approach to the processes that your company may have in place. Be Radically Candid when hiring, firing, promoting (see chapter seven), as well as giving formal performance reviews (see chapter six).

  Don’t get too bogged down in the details before plunging in, though, because it is the rewards of the process that will keep you energized and moving forward. Remember: once you build Radically Candid relationships with the people who report to you, you will eliminate a terrible source of misery in the world: the bad boss.