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• 作者：叫我夏末Summer 发布时间：2013-10-30 16:04:44

  LP的信息怎么会这么全！！！这么多岛的这么多酒店的这么多信息和这么多体验！！！这是一个多么庞大的团队！！

• 作者： 发布时间：2021-10-31 14:07:51

  教练的彩图书。大略翻完，随便看看。运动的高光真迷人

• 作者：K 发布时间：2016-08-29 22:40:13

  特里斯坦与伊索尔德读完，漫长回望

• 作者：父亲 发布时间：2017-07-03 16:45:03

  内容一流，纸张和封面超级无敌赞。水墨画中的农村，看起来一切都很祥和，而背后却藏着。。。哎。。。这一版比作家的好看！当然也略贵。。

• 作者：温莎墓园日记。 发布时间：2019-10-30 20:13:37

  再次给自己的书打五星系列 虽然我水平一般 但是这套书无论从画风还是人设都是我译过的书里最喜欢的 感谢并且怀念艳艳老师跟美玉姐的帮助跟共事 转眼间已经这么多年了呢

• 作者：miya 发布时间：2024-05-04 22:09:03

  浅显易懂，分析清明上河图的内容给孩子听，很快就能看完，意犹未尽

• 「The Secret Handshake」笔记

  作者：聪郎 发布时间：2021-07-27 05:56:48

  Mastering the Politics of the Business Inner Circle.

  Kathleen Kelley Reardon, Ph.D.

  1. The Parameters of Organizational Power and Politics

  The center of politics is power.

  Power - a resource for getting things done.

  Valuable expertise, who contro important resources or information

  In positions of great authority

  …

  Power is not an owned entity; rather it emerges through the interactions of people.

  It is one thing to be a good observer of power, however, and another to recognize that each person, including you, has the option to accept or reject power allocations. The view that power is negotiable is a very liberating one.

  The Power in Perception

  Power is not owned, but is created in the processes of perceiving and relating to others.

  You do have power, even if it doesn’t seem that way at times. It’s important to develop your own power or to create a self-defining sense of it.

  The centered person draws power from knowing his or her own competencies, being comfortable with those, and refusing to let others diminish them.

  Two Types

  Positional power.

  How much formal power people perceive you to have. Status, visibility, centrality, relevance, job cachet, and autonomy.

  Personal power.

  Traits and styles of acting, such as charisma, dedication, ingratiation, and professionalism.

  2. Political Savvy

  Benefit: Advance career; Self-defense.

  First step: Discover where you are on the political continuum

  Types of Political Climate

  Minimally politicized. Atmosphere is amicable.

  Moderately politicized.

  Operate primarily on generally understood, formally sanctioned rules. Unsanctioned means of achieving individual and group goals are not unusual, but when these tactics are used, it is done in such a manner that their existence can be denied if someone were to complain.

  Mixed-message of asking for A while rewarding B.

  Smaller, fast-moving companies and the larger ones like Cisco Systems that try to stay agile tend to fall into this domain.

  Highly Politicized.

  Formally sanctioned rules are only invoked when convenient, rather than being applied consistently across situations and people. In-groups and out-groups are clearly defined. Lots of topics are taboo, and you need to know what they are if you want to survive. Few people talk with the CEOs or their direct reports in these companies. Who you know is more important than what you know.

  Pathologically Politicized

  Nearly every goal is achieved by going around the formal procedures and organization. People tend to distrust each other. Information massaging is the only form of communication. Out of necessity, people spend a lot of time watching their backs and covering their backsides.

  Carrot-and-stick to getting people to do their jobs.

  Signs of Cultural Pathology in Organizations

  Frequent flattering of those in power coupled with abusiveness toward people in less powerful positions. Flattery may not get you everywhere, but it is often used by those who fear they cannot advance on their own merits.

  Information massaging. When no one says anything that might rock the boat, you can be sure that the organization is becoming pathological. When people communicate via hint instead of directly expressing their views, the roots of pathology are present even if they haven’t yet taken over.

  Poisoning the well. People frequently fabricate negative information about others. They drop defaming information into conversations and meetings in the hope of ruining the target’s career chances. Gossip and verbal backstabbing.

  People in charge are poisonous. Cold indifference. No one is valued. Everyone is dispensable - and feels that way.

  Fake left, go right. Leading others in the wrong direction in order to look good oneself.

  3. Knowing Your Political Style - and When to Change It

  Adaptability - stretch your style to accommodate the situation at hand.

  4 Basic Political Style

  Purist

  Team Player

  Street Fighter

  Maneuverer

  Key: Fitting your style to the organization.

  The Purist

  The Purist believes in getting ahead through hard work.

  Decline politics and follow sanctioned rules to get things done.

  Honest and trust other people. Prefer to work with others who do the same.

  For them, work is not about personal advancement at the expense of others, but getting the job done well.

  Strategy: Do the job really well.

  The Team Player

  The Team Player believes that you get ahead by working well with others and participating primarily in politics that advance the goals of the group.

  Decline to put personal career needs ahead of the group’s needs.

  Prefer to operate by sanctioned rules, although he or she isn’t above trading favors or engaging in other relatively benign political games in the service of achieving team goals.

  Team Players are focused on getting the job done right and on creating conditions for team member advancement.

  The disdain for those who don’t reveal what’s best for the team is characteristic of the Team Player style. When the Team Player works with other Team Players, information sharing is common.

  Strategy: Be valuable in a number of domains.

  The Street Fighter

  The Street Fighter is an individualist who believes that the best way to get ahead is through the use of rough tactics.

  Rely more on subliminal politics, but is just as likely to impose sanctioned rules when those rules serve personal goals. Street Fighters watch their backs, push hard to get personal goals achieved, and are slow to trust others.

  Street Fighters don’t allow themselves to remain ignorant of new developments. They don’t enter an organizational dark alley unless they have investigated the terrain and are prepared to defend themselves.

  Street Fighters have been burned often enough to know that life can be tough, so they play tough.

  Strategy: Strategically align with the higher-ups, and make sure to deliver.

  The Maneuverer

  The Maneuverer is an individualist, one who believes in getting ahead by playing political games in a skillful, unobtrusive manner.

  He or she is not at all inhibited about using politics to advance personal objectives and favored team objectives, but prefers to do so in deniable ways.

  The Maneuverer looks for ulterior motives in others, has little regard for sanctioned rules, relies largely on subliminal politics, and is more likely to be a subtle operator than the Street Fighter.

  Maneuvers are less committed to hard work than Purists, and only operate as Team Players when it suits their agendas.

  4. Profiling the True Political Player

  True Political Player

  The Need to Lead

  It’s rare for someone to go far in business without a strong desire to get his or her ideas across, to influence, motivate, and direct others.

  Extreme Focus

  Refuse to lose sight of their goals, even in the face of discouragement and rejection. Never tear themselves apart with self-doubt or give up at the first sign of criticism. If you make a mistake, learn from it and move on.

  Advance Thinking

  Think like a chess player. Understand each person’s intuition and interest. Make people look and feel good.

  “I hadn’t thought of that. That’s an important insight. I see now what you mean.”

  Know Your Strengths and Weaknesses

  Every significant organizational project or change process undergoes five stages: planning, enabling, launching, catalyzing, maintaining.

  Assess where you fit best in any such project or process.

  Impeccable Timing

  Good timing means paying attention to setting and mood as well as to how you express yourself.

  The Balancing Act

  Balance people's concerns with project goals. Think about both solving the problem, and making sure people involved are not adversely affected by that solution.

  When there is a tradeoff, people’s concerns are more important.

  The ability to be direct but yet respectful.

  Win-win mindset. Find ways to integrate their ideas and yours. Instead of taking sides, take stock of where they stand, where you stand, who stands to win, who to lose, and then try to choose a route that provides a reasonable amount of mutual gain.

  Leadership Style

  Pay attention to not only what people say but how they are saying it. A method for recognizing style types first by an “inventory” and then by conversations.

  Most like you - 8, Moderately like you - 4, Little like you - 2, Least like you - 1.

  

  

  First column - Commanding style score, Second column - Logical style score, Third column - Inspirational style score, Fourth column - Supportive style score.

  59， 92， 95， 54

  

  Communication Styles

  Commanding - brief and to the point.

  Logical - focus on explanations.

  Inspirational - team goals or an exciting possibility.

  Supportive - making people feel comfortable.

  Commanding

  Want to get things done.

  Inclined to direct people to action rather than persuade them with extensive reasoning.

  Only observe the Logical type.

  >86 is above the mean.

  Logical

  Assess situations carefully before moving to action.

  Persuade by providing reasons and walking people through what they consider to be compelling logic.

  Not quick to make changes because they want to be sure they’ve taken into consideration all relevant data.

  >80 is above the mean.

  Inspirational

  Attracted to radical change.

  Think beyond the obvious to come up with creative ideas and rarely have patience with regard to implementing those ideas.

  Persuade others by empower and excite them.

  > 81

  Supportive

  Inclined to help people follow the path others agree is the best one.

  Persuade by making it easier for them to believe in and follow that path.

  Slow to make changes because they want to be sure that issue-relevant people are pleased with any proposed moves.

  >65

  Primary + Backup. But can be changed and stretched.

  Senior Manager Leadership Styles for the Five Phases of Organizational Change

  

  

  Specific Things

  New Joiner May Be Evaluated:

  Is this person really smart?

  Will s/he make me look bad?

  Is s/he a team player?

  Do people important to my career respect her/him?

  Does s/he think s/he can just waltz in here and start calling the shots?

  Make People Look and Feel Good

  Do your political homework.

  Identify the relevant players and their agendas.

  Smooth over the rough spots in advance.

  Identify possible objections and deal with them before they become hardened positions.

  Find ways for other deserving people to get personal credit.

  Ask Yourself About Your Ideas

  Does my solution respond to senior management’s concerns?

  Does it fly in the face of the philosophy of the company?

  Who looks good if we adopt it? Who looks bad?

  Is there a way to reshape it to respond to the needs, desires, and concerns of key people?

  Who can help me assess this situation?

  5. Forming Relationships

  People tend to do what’s in their best interests. Political savvy requires knowing what others need and want.

  Strategic visits to peers and senior people have several advantages.

  They provide opportunities to let others know of your accomplishments. You can’t assume that people know what you’re doing well. You have to let them know.

  They provide opportunities to let people know what you can do for them.

  Managing Reciprocity.

  You scratch my back and I’ll scratch yours.

  If you want to be remembered come promotion time, you need to have established a support base of people for whom you’ve done some impressive work or favors.

  Developing Your Favor Bank

  Everyone has the ability to do favors. Think about how can someone use your help, attention, expertise, or encouragement?

  Everything in moderation. If you do too many things for people too often, favors cease to have significance, or may even become offputting.

  What you do for people should be something they cannot otherwise easily obtain.

  The Power of Unexpected Favors

  Timing is the key. Provide favor when she had nothing obvious to gain.

  Thank you note.

  Knowing How Long You Owe Them.

  Sometimes the debt is long-term. This is the case even if this person says you don’t owe her a thing.

  Give Credit Even When It Isn’t Due.

  The politically astute are not arrogant. They seek advice because they know there are many perspectives from which any situation can be viewed. They know too that people selectively perceive, and so they never get the whole picture from one source. They know that giving someone a chance to be an expert is a favor in itself.

  Give others opportunities to feel intelligent, clever, witty, or creative.

  Only desperate people grab all the credit.

  Connective Comments (Sincerely believe what you’re saying)

  I see now what you’re saying. I hadn’t thought of it that way. There’s an additional consideration I’d like to pose that goes to the heart of what you’re looking for here.

  Given that position, we might want to consider making a slight alteration in the plan. It fits well with what you said earlier about…

  That really helped clarify things. I see now why you’ve gone in the direction you have. It seems reasonable then to consider doing X, which fits well with the direction you’ve outlined here.

  I’d like to hear what you’re thinking, Alex.

  You’re the expert in this area, Ellen, what’s your opinion?

  Sam, since you handled a delicate situation like this not long ago, can you give us the benefit of your expertise?

  Making Connections

  Who you know. Know means a relationship has been established.

  Making valuable connections involves conveying to others a sense of having truly noticed them. Eye contact helps achieve this, especially if coupled with a firm handshake.

  Connecting via a Back Door

  Find different and creative ways.

  Play It Close to the Vest

  You have to know whom to trust with information. Friendship complicates things because it brings with it certain obligations to share information. Friends share, don’t have too many friends at work so you could keep information to yourself.

  Close personal friendships aren’t advisable at higher levels, sounding boards and reference points are imperative. You need to be close enough to people for them to keep you in the loop.

  Some people are proficient at gleaning information from others without incurring obligation. One method for doing so is apparent self-disclosure. A person acts as though she is providing confidential or personal information to another, when in actuality she isn’t revealing anything that couldn’t be learned with a little effort. When this happens, the information recipient feels obligated to reciprocate.

  6. Reading Between the Lines

  It’s important to become a sophisticated interpreter of meaning, observant of both content and relational levels of conversation, and careful in determining whether information is central or peripheral to your goals.

  Improving Your Powers of Observation

  Effective listening means not just hearing what your boss or peer said and the tone he or she used to say it but determining what he or she really meant as well.

  Messages of dismissal can be sent by merely refusing to give someone the same amount of eye contact that is given to others during a meeting.

  Positive messages could be subtle too. Need to be able to detect when someone is covertly extending a helping hand. A kind word, a slight pat on the back, a nod, placement on a hot project team are a few examples of how some organizations praise people.

  Write thank you emails to those who compliment you and keep copies for your file.

  Who’s in the Loop and Who’s Not?

  You need to put yourself in a position to get important information.

  Post-meeting analyses. Outside of working hours. “I just called you to see what you thought of today’s meeting”. Know other people's perceptions and politics. Who is angry with whom? Who is in favor and who is out of favor? Why is a particular topic getting attention at this time, and what does that mean in terms of future division or organization-wide initiatives? What vested interests were served, which ones were overlooked?

  Getting Past Access Protection Tactics

  In status-oriented cultures, people who don’t meet certain criteria for group membership are denied access by those who do.

  Check Your Assumptions at the Door

  Don’t jump to conclusions. Don’t fit behaviors into stereotypical categories that fast.

  What matters to us does not necessarily matter in the same way and degree to others.

  Fairness is not a salient issue in a manager’s mind. Codes of conduct publicly espoused by senior management are not always the ones that get rewarded.

  If you don’t know what motivates someone’s behavior - and how to link the things he or she values to those that you need - you’ve no hope of influencing, managing, or changing the situation.

  The need to question your assumptions and search for deeper reasons for others’ behavior is at the heart of successful business politics.

  The politically astute don’t assume - they assess. They read each significant situation in terms of the benefits to those involved. They nurture a healthy skepticism regarding easy answers, and choose instead to study human nature.

  Seeing the Disconnects

  Detects disconnects between nonverbal and verbal comments. A slight sneer, a snicker, a twitch of the eyes, a turning away, an odd tone of voice. When what is said is not said in the way it should be if it were backed by conviction and complete honesty, people who read between the lines notice.

  Practice. Next time someone complains to you, listen past the words to the meaning. Meaning exists on two levels: content and relational. The content meaning is what is said about the subject; the relational meaning is how the person feels about it. When the two levels don’t coincide, that often indicates that what is being said is likely not what the person is really thinking.

  Interpreting on Two Levels

  The implied meanings of the words used rather than just their dictionary meaning.

  PURRR procedure for checking assumptions. Pause, understand, reflect, reinterpret, and redirect.

  Using Finesse

  Alter the perceptions of others in such subtle ways that most people fail to notice what you are doing. Clever alteration of word choice.

  There’s a timing/degree element to casting advantageous perspectives on things.

  Effective finesseurs tend to see the glass as half full rather than half empty. They see opportunities where others see obstacles, problems become challenges, failures convert to learning experiences, delays become chances to catch their breath, and hard work turns into fun.

  7. Conversational Politics

  Conversations are the building blocks of careers.

  Conversational enhancements you can apply:

  Attend to both content and relational meanings in conversation. Look for cues indicating that what was said may not be what was meant. Consider whether information is central or peripheral before acting upon it.

  Respond to a different interpretation than the one intended if that one is leading down a problematic path. Be creative.

  Conduct some postmortems on a few conversations that didn’t work for you. Where did you misread cues? Could you have ignored a cue that took you away from your goal?

  Observe people who are expert at redirecting conversations away from danger points. Experiment with their techniques.

  Engage allies in the interpretation process. Find someone trustworthy who can read meanings well, ones who can offer advice on how to help you avoid relational downturns with key people.

  Learn to recognize choice points in conversations, places where you might slip into dysfunctional scripts. Practice versatility in one-up, one-down, and one-across moves. Avoid predictability.

  Separate offense from insult. Don’t treat them the same. Whenever possible, give an offender the opportunity to do the right thing. Use a good sense of humor to handle accidental offenses. Show grace under fire for insult, acknowledge their concern and continue on your plan.

  Acquire some clever retorts to put-downs.

  Tactics of social diminution: placing blame, ridiculing, eliciting guilt, alienating, dismissing, streamrollering, humiliating, denouncing, and scapegoating.

  You can’t play in the big leagues if you let them look good at your expense.

  When a response isn’t on the tip of your tongue, buy yourself some time with a question or two.

  When the pressure is on, respond rather than react. Don’t get backed into a corner or back others into one. Stay flexible, be on the lookout for mutual gain options, and when necessary step away to discuss the topic at another time.

  Don’t frequently bring up bad news or remind people of their foibles. Lace criticism with compliments. Position issues in terms of mutual concern.

  Don’t be too quick to say no. Listen for what really matters to people. You may be able to deliver with less effort than you think.

  Move on after an altercation. Let go. Show them that you don’t carry a grudge even if you’re still a little hot under the collar.

  Practice political dancing. Be subtle in your lead, natural in the positioning of your compliments.

  8. Identify Heavy/Bad Politics

  The best way to prevent spirals of invivility is to address acts of rudeness and injustice swiftly and with justice.

  Need to be able to identify them.

  Damning with Faint Praise

  表扬时避重就轻，背后其实是批评。Used when people don’t want to be perceived as saying or writing sth negative about a target person. Instead, they praise the person in a pointedly halfhearted manner.

  Strategy: Know your goal, what do you want to get out of it. Public recognition or boss’s recognition only? Choose the tactic that aligns with your goal.

  Public Put-Downs

  公开打压。Direct insults, interruptions, caustic criticism, disregard, patronizing comments, exclusion from a conversation, blocking conversational input, lying in wait, and tripping up.

  Strategy:

  When put-downs exceed your threshold, when they threaten your standing among those you respect, action is better than inaction.

  Minimize the likelihood of public personal attacks by keeping in touch with people, nurturing relationships with coworkers so they’ll think positively of the person.It shows interest and helps build loyalty.

  Lording

  颐指气使。Using coercive means to get a person to see or do things the lorder’s way. This is a desperate tactic used mostly by the relatively powerless. People who tend to lord over others have a strong need for power. Little Napoleons.

  Strategy:

  Lorders often self-destruct. They wind up making so many enemies that their time in power is self-limiting. Some senior people use such person to keep other people out.

  Find a way to sidestep their control. Whatever resource they allocate, find another way to obtain it or learn to operate without it. It’s only your need or desire to receive sth from a lorder that enables him or her to have any power over you.

  Giving Them Enough Rope to Hang Themselves

  People talk at length about some problem only to finally make things worse for themselves. Often they hoist themselves on their own petard by accidentally admitting to responsibility for the problem, or simply wind up looking petty and vindictive.

  Strategy:

  Just listen quietly or even inject an encouraging “Please go on” until the individual incriminates himself.

  Talking less, and listening and thinking more.

  The Frozen-Out Scenario

  边缘化把人挤走。Putting the targeted person on a low-priority project to get them leave themselves. The isolation tactic is also applied when someone just doesn’t fit. Keep the person out of the loop.

  Strategy: Only solved top-down.

  Fake Left, Go Right

  Allowing or encouraging someone to think one condition exists when in reality another condition holds. Example send someone to training and return to find that things have changed.

  Strategy: From the outset, you systematically locate and nurture relationships that can be called upon in times of need. Moreover, when others know you’re friendly with people in high places, it often has the marvelous effect of steering would-be denigrators away from you.

  Poisoning the Well

  恶意中伤。The gossiper may casually drop a derogatory comment about someone into a conversation, or quote someone out of context.

  Strategy:

  Make it clear to the well-poisoner not only that you have recognized her tactics but that you will not sit quietly if she continues.

  Make friends in the know who’ll keep you informed of possible dangers.

  Let others know that you’re aware of the previous attempts by an individual to discredit you. People will be skeptical when receiving future comments of this nature.

  Let people in high places know of the well-poisonings. Rather than complain endlessly about the situation, ask them if they’ve ever had a similar experience. Ask them what they did about it.

  Playing It Fast and Loose

  见风使舵，变化无常。Always side with whoever is likely to do them the most good. They usually consider themselves crafty. They have only one loyalty and that is to themselves. But they appear to care about whomever they believe to be of use to them at the time.

  Strategy:

  It’s important to avoid ever having to rely on them.

  You should never be completely open and honest with a conniving type. Give them as little valuable information as possible. Appear cooperative. Occasionally feign a true interest in their well-being. Praise their accomplishments and don’t try to change them.

  Best strategy is to keep a good distance between yourself and them. Otherwise there’s a good chance that one day they’ll sell your career down the river to advance theirs.

  9. Positional Power

  Manulating Symbols

  Verbal and nonverbal symbols and behaviors convey power.

  Managing Access

  Considerable power in organizations comes from access to people, events, and conversations.

  Look around the environment in which you work. And ask “What are the access rules? How might you circumvent them? If you can’t carpool with a senior executive who might help you make a positive career move, what can you do? How have others gained access?”

  How to Increase Your Positional Power

  Respect comes to those who listen to other people, deliberate and even change their views if a better suggestion comes along. It’s earned. It also comes to those who express appreciation face-to-face.

  The Power of Relevance

  If your job and skills match with the priorities of the company, then you are more relevant than those who are less well matched.

  Ways to improve relevance.

  Develop skills to make them more salient to your company or focus your efforts on earning-driving tasks.

  Make something work better or more efficiently.

  When people share the pain in rough times, offer advice or question a policy in a politically astute way.

  Notice the inherited politics bosses are dealing with and help their superiors work through the difficulties.

  More ways to increase relevance.

  Identify your educational or skill gaps and get training either through or outside the company.

  Find yourself a good coach or mentor who can assist you in identifying what it would take for you to become more relevant. Work with him or her on improving your skills.

  Connect with well-respected people in the organization whose areas are considered highly relevant. Identify skills you have that might be useful to them. Offer to help.

  Look around to see what’s missing on the teams of which you’re a member, or ones you might join. There are team roles (initiator, critic, elaborator, idea generator, recorder, conflict manager, and perhaps most important, follow-up) that groups need in order to function effectively. Identify where the team is lacking, where you could effectively fit in, and take on that role.

  The Power of Centrality

  Occupy central position in important networks. People in more peripheral positions must depend on such persons for information. People’s dependence on you increases your power. Centrality relies on making yourself a key link in the information chain.

  How to be more central

  Recognize that you can be central.

  Start obtaining a flow of important information. Pass it along to people for whom it is relevant.

  Be there. Don’t do everything via phone or email. Drop in with information, make lunch dates to discuss important issues, and deliver an opinion in person.

  Take note of or find out where rising stars, solid performers, and the people with information or status tend to congregate. Then be there when they are.

  The Power of Career Cachet

  For example, a position where the money’s coming in, not where it’s going out.

  The Power of Autonomy

  Have the discretion, or freedom, to exercise your judgment on the job. Autonomy indicates that the people for whom you work trust you.

  Ways to increase your autonomy:

  Look carefully at your present job. Do you have enough autonomy? If not, is it because your boss micromanages? Is it because you haven’t established a track record of autonomy? If the boss is an incurable micromanager, you may need to find ways to work on projects he or she does not oversee. If it’s your track record, why not talk to the boss about achieving one? Ask him or her to give you a chance and then make sure you come through. Start small.

  Establish trust. Make sure you do what you say you’ll do and do it well when someone does give you autonomy. There may not be a second chance.

  Don’t always ask permission, especially on the smaller stuff. If the downside is not significant, take some initiative on tasks where it isn’t clear that you should ask permission.

  Create jobs on which you can demonstrate autonomy. If you can’t get out from under someone’s micromanaging style on assignments he or she has given you, do so on ones you create yourself.

  Add value. This is key in achieving autonomy. Go a step further than others in getting a job done well. People like this don’t need constant supervision.

  Make a plan carefully and execute. Give credit to those who help you out.

  The Power of Visibility

  Visibly put the company’s interests first. Let them know you’re a player, not a groupie.

  Identify the hot tasks or projects and then go after them. Choose tasks that open new doors and meet new people.

  Perform at an excellent level in what you’re doing at the time. And don’t look solely to the next promotion, think long term and broader.

  Don’t get desperate for attention. A little humility is a very good companion to visibility. Watch out for signals of jealousy among your peers. The key is to become visible to the right people at the right times.

  10. Personal Power

  Personal power consists of traits and skills that make people influential.

  The Power of Expertise

  Results speak louder, get things done in a timely and competent manner. Ask yourself what the people to whom you report are looking for.

  Become one of the people who ask “how” rather than “why” questions.

  Identify people in other divisions or at other levels who may have a need for your expertise. You should have an audience outside of the one right around you. (People who don’t have to see you every day - or compete with you at raise and promotion time - are less likely to be threatened by your expertise)

  Work for a nonprofit, philanthropic foundation can be a significant societal contribution and an effective back door to visibility and recognition of your expertise.

  The Power of Dedication

  Demonstrate dedication to their company. It’s important to only put in long hours and be available when it matters to those in a position to notice your dedication. Otherwise you’re headed for burnout, and your extra effort just becomes expected, rather than the important contribution it really is.

  People who can be highly productive while remaining poised, clearheaded, and objective at the same time.

  Being willing to get your hands dirty. Relieving your boss of tasks that he/she finds worrisome or distasteful. Work on helpful tasks for your boss that are visible and valued.

  Pay attention to the signs of dedication that appear important to your superiors.

  Creating a Positive Impression

  Charisma.

  Stretching the Envelope

  Perception is reality. Impression management. Example: Organized office and consistent punctuality convey the impression that a person has an organized mind. Good grooming and tasteful clothing suggest confidence and pride. Walking briskly and looking busy but not harried, especially in times of stress, can convey capability. Humor under such conditions indicates charm and composure.

  Confidence Quotient

  People with humility don’t think less of themselves, they just think of themselves less.

  One the welcomes discussion and debate, and who is not easily threatened.

  11. Conflict Resolution

  Competition is rewarded more than cooperation, and so conflict is inevitable.

  Manage conflict in a way that encourages creativity and innovation, dialogue and relationship building.

  Choose Your Battles

  Use PURRR. Pause, understand, reflect, reinterpret, and redirect.

  Buy yourself some time by saying: “What you just said can be interpreted in a variety of ways.” See how the other person responds. Often just saying this alerts him or her that battle lines might start being drawn.

  When a situation isn’t worth battling

  There’s a low probability of winning without doing excessive damage.

  Upon reflection the importance of winning isn’t as high as it originally seemed.

  There will likely be a time down the line when you can raise the issue again with a different boss or in a different way.

  Never Try to Teach a Pig to Read

  It’s a waste of time and it annoys the pig. Make a list of people of incorrigibles and revisit from time to time.

  Fluff the Dove

  Main idea: Keep calm, rise above personal vindictiveness, take the high road, and whenever possible make the other person feel good about herself, all of which will help you feel good about yourself.

  Response Options

  Situation: Someone has just blamed you for something that’s partly her fault as well.

  Option 1: No doubt you’ve found, as I have, that there is usually more to a situation than meets the eye.

  (Ambiguity) I’m simply pointing out that none of us is perfect and that digging a bit deeper often reveals a reasonable explanation. Casting blame wimpy cripples us in our efforts to rectify this.

  Option 2: Hindsight is often, but not always, twenty-twenty.

  (Suggest there are other ways to see the situation and hers is but one of them) We could both point fingers, but I think we’d be better off looking for a solution.

  Option 3: Perhaps we would benefit from looking at this as a learning experience.

  (Redefines the situation as one from which sth might be gained for both parties) Rather than blame each other and storm out angrily, why not see if sth can be learned from this unfortunate set of circumstances?

  I’m as upset as you are about the outcome. But we’ll all be better served if we spend our time seeking a solution.

  Option 4: This project means a good deal to you and you’ve certainly put a great deal into it. I don’t blame you a bit for how you feel right now.

  (Meeting an attack with a compliment) You may be right.

  Option 5: I’m very sorry this happened. It’s very upsetting to you and, frankly, to all of us.

  (Apologizing but don’t take the blame, place yourself in a larger camp, change the subject from blame to shared distress)

  Managing Upward Conflict

  Get out, and fast.

  Get to the boss first with things - keep him or her in the loop.

  Use inoculation, described earlier, casually dropping information about possible well-poisoning so that when it does occur, the boss is inclined to be skeptical of dismiss it.

  Avoid involvement in teams and discussions that bring you in contact with people you know to be destructively deceptive.

  Stand up for yourself.

  The Obvious Difference - Gender

  Avoid unconscious bias and understand difference is normal.

  The Think Pink Line

  Women need to stop worrying about being labeled as too feminine or too unfeminine, and get on with getting noticed and appreciated.

  Favor-swapping are common for men. Direct or subtle but ask for some return.

  Example: Okay, Bill. I’ll do it this time. But you owe me one. Or. Okay, Bill. But I’ll need two hours of your time on Friday morning between ten and noon to help me get a project completed on time.

  The Self-Promotion Trap

  Get to the new boss before he gets rid of you.

  When in Rome do as the Romans do. Adapt.

  Never Limit Your Mentors to People Who Look Like You

  The people most like you may see you as competition. The person who is surprised that you asked for his or her help may be flattered. If so, he or she is likely to be of assistance.

  A Few Final Thoughts on Conflict

  Attacking people’s work is often synonymous with attacking them, especially if done in insensitive ways.

  Engaging in enlightened self-interest without damaging the other party in any public fashion.

  12. Cultivating Influence

  Influence is critical to achieving the secret handshake. Mastering influence is a matter of knowing how to position ideas effectively, how to time the delivery of those ideas, and how to select the right communication channel. The inner circles of most companies consist of people who have learned to make these judgments.

  Try to find in what people say ideas that easily connect to yours.

  You really can’t learn when you’re talking. So I listen. I ask the people to reenact what is bothering them. I watch their nonverbal communication - how they sit, whether their arms are folded, if they’re glaring or rolling their eyes. You have to read the room quickly. The point is to listen intently to find out who wants what. Everyone gets to tell you why their solution is the best. My job is to create some ease in the room. Then, after a while, you begin to hear overlaps in their solutions. And once you convince them there are no solutions without compromise, you work with them to discover a solution that brings together some part of each person’s interests.

  Ask questions, find things that are important and you could help from their answers. Connect your skills - what you have to offer - with what your manager needs. By offering to help even beyond normal work hours, you demonstrate your commitment and strong desire to be involved, without seeming desperate.

  The ACE Model to Influence

  Three types: appropriateness, consistency, and effectiveness

  Understand which type of appeal fits the situation at hand.

  Listen to people’s likes and dislikes, whether they care about the opinions of others or consider themselves to be guided by their individual tastes and interests. Chose the one that addresses the primary interests of the person you wish to persuade.

  Appropriateness appeals use the opinions or actions of others to encourage a person to do what you’d like him or her to do.

  Example: Persuade someone to accept a transfer. Everyone who’s been promoted to senior management has done this. Lots of people take transfers they don’t want out of loyalty. Mentioning that others do sth often encourages people to do it too.

  Consistency appeals are those in which the persuader tells the other party that what he might do is somehow consistent with his personality, likes, or dislikes.

  Example: It isn’t like you to miss such a great opportunity. Or. You’re adventurous. I was sure you’d jump at a chance like this.

  Effectiveness appeals suggest that an action is going to bring desired outcomes.

  Example: If you take this transfer now, they’ll likely bring you back as a vice-president. Or. Going to Atlanta has always been the way this company grooms its best candidates for senior management.

  Frame Your Position in an Attractive Way

  We operate daily more on inference and judgement than on fact.

  Only use words and phrases that could advance your position.

  Think Gray

  Thinking gray is one of the hallmarks of a person on his or her way to the top.

  Don’t respond to people in terms of right or wrong, true or false, black or white, or other polarities, but rather in terms of shades of gray. Invite complexity so long as you don’t allow it to cloud judgment.

  Listen and ask, instead of talk. Think about extensive possibilities.

  Best answers emerge from unearthing the complexities of people and situations.

  Example: I generate confusion by asking questions, leading them to consider perspectives and options that hadn’t crossed their minds. Then when they are sufficiently unsure of the veracity of their claims, I bring them gradually back to a conclusion that borrows from both of the original views while incorporating some of the fog.

  Be concise, Clear, On Track, and Watch the Subtle Cues

  Self-discipline is the key. You need to listen to yourself and watch how people respond. Maintain pace, emphasize important points, and truly articulate people stay on track in conversations.

  The most important rule is to listen to yourself and watch what is going on around you.

  No idea is so important that it doesn’t need a good introduction, sensitivity to ritual to get it to the floor, supportive data, and credit given to those hearing it. No idea should be dragged out longer than need be, and whenever possible it should be connected clearly to the interests of the listeners.

  Allow Yourself to be Gracefully Wrong

  There are few things so disarming as an apology when defensiveness is expected.

  Only acknowledge if you are really wrong.

  You have to put petty self-interests aside to advance the team or company goals.

  Brief and not overly self-deflating. I wasn’t thinking that time. Where was my brain on that one? This isn’t my finest moment.

  Find allies in high places.

  Choose the Right Communication Channel

  If the issue is delicate, don’t fire off your ideas. Call or go see him or her to check perceptions.

  Know your channel strength and that of the person with whom you’ll be communicating.

  Manage the Number of Issues

  Whenever possible, handle one primary issue at a time whether you’re talking on the telephone, faxing, emailing, or even speaking face-to-face.

  13. Politically Astute Negotiating

  When told something can’t be done, truly effective negotiators think about how they can get it done. When told they must do something, they begin to think of how they might do it to their advantage, or not do it at all. Telling them “no” or “this is not negotiable” is equivalent to issuing them a challenge. Their brains shift into a negotiation gear at the merest hint of being blocked.

  Preparing for Street-Smart Negotiation

  Example: When I’m negotiating an important deal. I listen for quite a while. As I present a proposal, I watch to see if several people seem opposed to it. In that case, I do a little constructive deception. If one of them expresses some agreement with me, I might use him to divide the group. After coaxing him to my side, I’ll gradually turn against him myself. The others, who are by then angry with him, become more open to my proposal, especially if I throw in some things they want. Essentially, the person who initially agreed with me becomes the common enemy. And nothing brings people together so well as that.

  Impression Traps

  It’s always better to enter any situation with healthy skepticism about your assumptions and some acquired insights into what the assumptions are of the other negotiators. Never react without checking assumptions and confirming the other person’s meanings.

  Prioritize. Steer around issues that might take them down a path away from important goals. Bypass or minimize small annoyances and occasional petty comments to assure their primary goals will be attained.

  First impressions are not reliable enough.

  Are You the Right Person to Negotiate?

  NSI identifies preferences among four negotiation styles: Achiever, Analytical, Motivator, Mediator.

  Test: Negotiation Style. 8,4,2,1

  

  

  44, 131, 75, 50 = Achievers, Analytical Negotiators, Motivators, Mediators

  Achievers

  Go right to the heart of an issue, moving things along quickly. They have little patience for long-winded logic, and they want to win.

  Analytical Negotiators

  Provide a good deal of data and are inclined to walk people through their reasoning step by step.

  Speak in terms of priorities, and, if they make concessions, they tend to make them along the lines.

  Motivators

  Find clever, novel ways of reaching solutions. They also express enthusiasm in contagious fashion.

  Mediators

  Like to help people find ways to agree. They are inclined to seek compromise or to accommodate so that things work out well for everyone.

  Potential Conflict Between Types

  Achiever could become very annoyed with an Analytical who provides too much data, with a Motivator who is a dreamer rather than a doer, or with a Mediator who seems to be looking for happy endings.

  Stretch your style and Rely on other people

  When confronted with a challenge, think “Who can help me with this?”, not only “What can I do about this?”. It’s a subtle but important distinction.

  Organize Your Thoughts into Primary Issues, Secondary Issues, and Clutter Issues

  Be organized. Keep things as simple as possible (unless ambiguity actually helps them reach their goals).

  Go to negotiations with more than one plan. It’s critical to establish and to organize strategies and options in terms of preference.

  Always focus on the most important topic, don’t get distracted.

  Get Yourself a Good Opener

  A strong positive opening stance. Example, beginning with an apology to decrease expected animosity; or make a firm statement about expectations so the other side knows you’re serious.

  In negotiation it’s always better to think before you speak. Take the time to consider how what you say will influence the other party’s reply and how that reply might limit your options.

  It’s often a good idea to start with a question, rather than starting by telling the other side your strongest argument or revealing your position.

  Question type: open-ended (when need more information about the other side’s strategy, or let them vent early if angry).

  What would you like to achieve at this meeting? What do you think of our plan?

  I don’t blame you for feeling as you do. There’s been a considerable amount of misinformation prior to this meeting and some incidents that shouldn’t have occured. And that’s why we’re here today, to turn that situation around. Maybe you have some thoughts on how we might do that.

  Become a Multitracker

  Listen to words, but also reading cues that others miss, calculating their importance, and sometimes giving them greater credence than the spoken word.

  Observe subtle signals and decide whether they’re meaningful.

  Find the Connections

  Understand where the other person is coming from. Ask yourself: What’s most important to my boss or client? What are his greatest concerns? How do they connect to mine?

  Find a way to do what their bosses want while also advancing one or more of their own goals. It’s your job to find a way to connect what you want to what they want.

  The more prepared you are in terms of having alternatives ready that keep your interests in mind while serving theirs, the more effective you’ll be.

  It’s critical to remember that there is always a bigger picture out there and sth you may not have understood in your preparations. Keep your eyes open for it. Don’t be like an angry child.

  Make Yourself and Your Ideas Memorable

  Man: Say the thing that turns the meeting around.

  Woman: Wait and listen. Try to determine the position of each person because they want to achieve consensus.

  Balance. Company culture.

  Have a personal style that is memorable. A trick.

  Memory jogging, idea clarifying techniques: short story, draw image, analogy.

  14. Channeling Machiavelli

  Lots of things discussed in this book could be viewed as manipulative.

  Politics involves going outside formal rules and channels to achieve desired ends, and sometimes that’s exactly what people need to do in order to advance valuable perspectives.

  Portfolio approach to life, composed of collections of different activities with different goals. Look at the world in terms of options.

  Growth mindset. Constant learning. Adaptive to change. Be alert.

• 被儿童文学吸引

  作者：张敏 发布时间：2021-05-31 12:30:31

  《没头脑和不高兴》是买来给宝宝做胎教的，每天读上一两篇。很惊喜的是，被故事内核所吸引。每读完一篇，都会不自觉的停下来，反思自己，回看过往。

  就像作者任溶溶老先生讲的那样，真正的儿童文学不是欺骗式的，而是即使孩子长大后回味起来依然有哲理，有启发。

  90年代初，在自己小的时候，每每镇上赶集的日子，都会兴高采烈的拿着五毛钱，去地摊上掏童话书，薄薄的一本，画本太漂亮了，拇指姑娘，白雪公主……看完一遍又一遍，还要小心翼翼看着小朋友借阅时是不是动作太大。珍惜是因为稀少吧，那时所能接触的就是集市上的画册了……

  错过的童年，之后也还少有机会选择一本儿童读物去读。现在借助宝宝的孕育，反而有了机会。网店上儿童文学，绘本故事书训练书等等，太多种类。估计真正需要时，会挑花眼，不知如何下手吧。

  任溶溶系列，只买了这一本，没想到读完这一本，却让我起了兴趣，想多买一些任溶溶老先生的作品和其他儿童读物，从孩子视角，也跳出站在成人视角，去接触那个斑斓多彩的世界。既弥补了童年时对读物的渴望，也期待某一天，跟孩子有着共同的话题和“嘿，脾气精”，“哦哦”这样的默契！