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• 作者：时间.世界 发布时间：2016-04-14 12:10:56

  低于3星。

• 作者：琥覗 发布时间：2019-08-23 11:41:31

  個人看來稍微有些沉悶，不過是很好的睡前讀物。

• 作者：笛中月 发布时间：2021-01-01 16:09:08

  翻译太烂了，严重影响阅读体验。有些字词很有年代感，断代严重。比如书中出现的诸如:价，断断乎，未始不可，未可厚非，没奈何……

  看来语言也是与时俱进的，要经常更新表达方式和内容。即使是久远时期的名家名译读起来也会佶屈聱牙！

  本书主要讲了哈克贝利和汤姆索亚历险之后不甘受老太太的约束，离家出走又碰上出逃的黑人“吉姆”，两个人一路上遇见和经历的故事。

• 作者：冰狩 发布时间：2010-12-21 09:55:35

  大一买学姐抛售的。5块。

• 作者： 发布时间：2019-11-11 14:07:36

  我周末还要带着它

• 作者：qqq 发布时间：2022-11-17 20:29:34

  非常实用

• 做人做事的普遍原则

  作者：Hammer_ 发布时间：2012-02-03 18:21:57

  Before we commence reading How To Win Friends And Influence People, we should first realize that this book had been written to be used to as textbook for the author's course in Effective speaking and Human relationship and it still used for today.

  So please not categorize this book as Self-help or Motivational book which often be degraded by those who unceasingly declaim how badly they hate this sort of things.

  Dealing with people is probably the biggest problem we face, especially if you are in business. Those principles can apply to all walks of people.

  If you wish to get the most out of this book, there is one indispensable requirement, one essential infinitely more important than any rule or technique. Unless you have this one fundamental requisite, a thousand rules on how to study will avail little.

  What is this magic requirement? Just this: a deep, driving desire to learn, a vigorous determination to increase your ability to deal with people.

  Once you believe,that works.

  “Education,” said the author “is the ability to meet life’s situations,”

  If by the time you have finished reading the first three chapters of this book- if you aren’t then a little better equipped to meet life’s situations, then I shall consider this book to be a total failure so far as you are concerned. For “the great aim of education,” said the author, “is not knowledge but action.”

  And this is an action book :)

  ----------------------------------

  readingnote:

  第一大章：怎样赢得朋友

  原则一：永远不要去批评别人

  很精辟，我们应该转换方式，让他们自己发现，或者用一种温和，婉转的方式，反之就算是中肯的批评也是有害无利

  1.ninety-nine times out of a hundred, people don’t criticize themselves for anything, no matter how wrong it may be.

  2.Criticism is futile because it puts a person on the defensive and usually makes him strive to justify himself. Criticism is dangerous, because it wounds a person’s precious pride, hurts his sense of importance, and arouses resentment

    

  3.Let’s realize that the person we are going to correct and condemn will probably justify himself or herself, and condemn us in return or, like the gentle Taft, will say: “I don’t see how I could have done any differently from what I have.

  4.每当我们想要批评别人的时候，想想这句话：“I don’t see how I could have done any differently from what I have”Judge not, that ye be not judged

  5.最真诚的忠告------勿责人，常思已过：Do you know someone you would like to change and regulate and improve? Good! That is fine. I am all in favor of it, But why not begin on yourself? From a purely selfish standpoint, that is a lot more profitable than trying to improve others - yes, and a lot less dangerous. “Don’t complain about the snow on your neighbor’s roof,” said Confucius, “when your own doorstep is unclean.”

  6.每个人都是感性的动物：When dealing with people, let us remember we are not dealing with creatures of logic. We are dealing with creatures of emotion, creatures bristling with prejudices and motivated by pride and vanity.

  7.我们应该做的：Instead of condemning people, let’s try to understand them. Let’s try to figure out why they do what they do. That’s a lot more profitable and intriguing than criticism and it breeds sympathy, tolerance and kindness. “To know all is to forgive all.”

  ------------------------------

  原则二 如何与人打交道---Give honest and sincere appreciation

  1、（有道理！）There is only one way under high heaven to get anybody to do anything. Did you ever stop to think of that? Yes, just one way. And that is by making the other person want to do it. Remember, there is no other way.

  2.每个人都得到赞扬啊：The deepest principle in human nature is the craving to be appreciated.The desire for a feeling of importance is one of the chief distinguishing differences between mankind and the animals

  3. 赞扬和奉承的区别：The difference between appreciation and flattery? That is simple. One is sincere and the other insincere. One comes from the heart out,the other from the teeth out. One is unselfish,the other selfish. One is universally admired, the other universally condemned.

  4.多点发自内心的感激，别吝啬对我们爱的人的赞扬：When we are not engaged in thinking about some definite problem, we usually spend about 95 percent of our time thinking about ourselves. Now, if we stop thinking about ourselves for a while and begin to think of the other person’s good points, we won’t have to resort to flattery so cheap and false that it can be spotted almost before it is out of the mouth

  5. 真的是这样呢：Let’s cease thinking of our accomplishments, our wants. Let’s try to figure out the other person’s good points. Then forget flattery. Give honest, sincere appreciation. Be “hearty in your approbation and lavish in your praise,” and people will cherish your words and treasure them and repeat them over a lifetime -repeat them years after you have forgotten them

  ------------------------------------------

  原则三. 去谈论人家感兴趣的事----Arouse in the other person an eager want

  1.少谈自己，谈大家的兴趣和利益所在：So the only way cm earth to influence other people is to talk about what they want and show them how to get it. Remember that tomorrow when you are trying to get somebody to do something. If, for example, you don’t want your children to smoke, don’t preach at them, and don’t talk about what you want? but show them that cigarettes may keep them from making the basketball team or winning the hundred-yard dash.（销售的人应该学学，学会从他人的角度看问题）

  2.If out of reading this book you get just one thing- an increased tendency to think always in terms of other people’s point of view, and see things from their angle - if you get that one thing out of this book, it may easily prove to be one of the building blocks of your career.

  3、我们的目的不是为了操纵人，而是实现双赢：Looking at the other person’s point of view and arousing in him an eager want for something is not to be construed as manipulating that person so that he will do something that is only for your benefit and his detriment

  ----------------------------------

  第二大章：怎样让人喜欢你

  原则一：Become genuinely interested in other people--对他人感兴趣

  1.If we want to make friends, let’s put ourselves out to do things for other people -things that require time, energy, unselfishness and thoughtfulness

  2.If we want to make friends, let’s greet people with animation and enthusiasm. When somebody calls you on the telephone use the same psychology

  -------------------

  原则二：经常微笑

  1.Actions speak louder than words, and a smile says, “I like you, You make me happy. I am glad to see you.”That is why dogs make such a hit. They are so glad to see us that they almost jump out of their skins. So, naturally, we are glad to see them. A baby’s smile has the same effect

  2.A man without a smiling face must not open a shop.”Your smile is a messenger of your good will. Your smile brightens the lives of all who see it. To someone who has seen a dozen people frown, scowl or turn their faces away, your smile is like the sun breaking through the clouds. Especially when that someone is under pressure from his bosses, his customers, his teachers or parents or children, a smile can help him realize that all is not hopeless -that there is joy in the world.

  --------------------------------

  原则三：记住别人的名字

  Remember that a person’s name is to that person the sweetest and most important sound in any language

  ----------------------

  原则四： 做一个好的听众，让别人去谈论自己（Be a good listener. Encourage others to talk about themselves）

  So if you aspire to be a good conversationalist, be an attentive listener. To be interesting, be interested. Ask questions that other persons will enjoy answering. Encourage them to talk about themselves and their accomplishments.

  Remember that the people you are talking to are a hundred times more interested in themselves and their wants and problems than they are in you and your problems. A person’s toothache means more to that person than a famine in China which kills a million people. A boil on one’s neck interests one more than forty earthquakes in Africa. Think of that the next time you start a conversation

  ---------------------

  原则五：谈别人感兴趣的事（Talk in terms of the other person’s interests. ）

  -----------------------

  原则六：承认对方的优点和对自己的重要性（Make the other person feel important-and do it sincerely）

  The unvarnished truth is that almost all the people you meet feel themselves superior to you in some way, and a sure way to their hearts is to let them realize in some subtle way that you recognize their importance, and recognize it sincerely. Remember what Emerson said: “Every man I meet is my superior in some way. In that, I learn of him.

  -------------------------------

  第三大章：How to Win People to Your Way of Thinking

  原则一：避免和人辩论，因为你永远不会赢---这个，偶觉得还是方式的问题，不过还是尽量避免好了，因为没啥意义啊！：）The only way to get the best of an argument is to avoid it

  You can’t win an argument. You can’t because if you lose it, you lose it,and if you win it, you lose it. Why?Well, suppose you triumph over the other man and shoot This argument full of holes and prove that he is non compos mentis.Then what? You will feel fine. But what about him? You have made him feel inferior. You have hurt his pride. He will resent your triumph. And A man convinced against his will Is of the same opinion still

  If you argue and rankle and contradict, you may achieve a victory sometimes, but it will be an empty victory because you will never get your opponent’s good wil

  -----------------

  独立一段，关于怎样应对argument的建议：

  一 不同的见解是有益的：Welcome the disagreement. Remember the slogan, “When two partners always agree, one of them is not necessary.” If there is some point you haven’t thought about, be thankful if it is brought to your attention. Perhaps this disagreement is your opportunity to be corrected before you make a serious mistake.

  二：(别相信你的第一直觉印象--适用于异见）Distrust your first instinctive impression. Our first natural reaction in a disagreeable situation is to be defensive. Be careful. Keep calm and watch out for your first reaction. It may be you at your worst, not your best

  三（控制你的脾气）Control your temper. Remember, you can measure the size of a person by what makes him or her angry. Listen first. Give your opponents a chance to talk. Let them finish. Do not resist, defend or debate. This only raises barriers. Try to build bridges of understanding. Don’t build higher barriers of misunderstanding.

  四：求同存异：Look for areas of agreement. When you have heard your opponents out, dwell first on the points and areas on which

  you agree.

  五：诚实： Be honest, Look for areas where you can admit error and say so. Apologize for your mistakes. It will help disarm your

  opponents and reduce defensiveness.

  六：Promise to think over your opponents’ ideas and study them carefully. And mean it. Your opponents may be right. It is a lot easier at this stage to agree to think about their points than to move rapidly ahead and find yourself in a position where your opponents can say: “We tried to tell you, but you wouldn’t listen.”

  七：感谢你的对手：Thank your opponents sincerely for their interest. Anyone who takes the time to disagree with you is interested in the same things you are. Think of them as people who really want to help you, and you may turn your opponents into friends.

  八：给点时间给对方（很重要，很多时候回头看，会觉得当时狠傻，没必要为这问题吵，也从另一方面得出，和人去争论什么，真的没啥意义）Postpone action to give both sides time to think through the problem

  ---------------------------

  原则二：别告诉别人自己比他们要高明

  这段狠有哲理，别证明自己比其他人聪明，就算知道，也别告诉他

  That is a challenge. It arouses opposition and makes the listener want to battle with you before you even start. It is difficult, under even the most benign conditions, to change people’s minds. So why make it harder? Why handicap yourself? If you are going to prove anything, don’t let anybody know it. Do it so subtly, so adroitly, that no one will feel that you are doing it.

  This was expressed succinctly by Alexander Pope: Men must be taught as if you taught them not And things unknown proposed as things forgot.

  Over three hundred years ago Galileo said: You cannot teach a man anything? you can only help him to find it within himself.

  As Lord Chesterfield said to his son: Be wiser than other people if you can? but do not tell them so.

  （勇于承认错误是最对的）You will never get into trouble by admitting that you may be wrong. That will stop all argument and inspire your opponent to be just as fair and open and broad-minded as you are. It will make him want to admit that he, too, may be wrong

  ------------

  原则三：勇于认错

  When we are right, let’s try to win people gently and tactfully to our way of thinking, and when we are wrong and that will be surprisingly often, if we are honest with ourselves - let’s admit our mistakes quickly and with enthusiasm. Not only will that technique produce astonishing results? but, believe it or not, it is a lot more

  fun, under the circumstances, than trying to defend oneself.

  Remember the old proverb: "By fighting you never get enough, but by yielding you get more than you expected.”

  ----------------

  原则四：以友好的方式开始 Begin in a friendly way.

  --------------

  原则五： Get the other person saying “yes, yes”

  ------------------------

  原则六：Let the other person do a great deal of the talking.

  （这里和上面有点重复了，其实这里有很多原则是共通的）

  ----------------

  原则七：Let the other person feel that the idea is his or hers

  卡内基是个中国通，他引用了好多中国古代的谚语和道德经的东西：

  " The reason why rivers and seas receive the homage of a hundred mountain streams is that they keep below them. Thus they are able to reign over all the mountain streams. So the sage, wishing to be above men, put himself below them, wishing to be before them, he put himself behind them. Thus, though his place be above men, they do not feel his weight,though his place be before them, they do not count it an injury.”

  海纳百川，有容乃大

  ------------------------------

  如果仅仅把这书当做是快餐书，励志书，成功学，

  真的很可惜，

  这书流传这么久真有它的道理，一些自以为是的“读书人”可能不屑看这类书，替他们遗憾。

  一本值得反复看的经典之作，最重要是去实践上述的原则，

  要记住：“This is an action book.”

  2012.2.3

  By Hammer

• 想要最好的晚年，从现在的每一天开始

  作者：一林芳竹 发布时间：2023-10-25 11:14:30

  我就要过50周岁的生日了，对50+的年龄有点恐惧，细细想来，我恐惧的不是老去，而是害怕没有尊严的老去，害怕一下子压缩了生活空间，也关闭了思维的活跃，只是躺在床上或者关在房间里，等待天黑再天亮，如此周而复始

  对于老年的生活，我有一种渴望，能够体面、健康、快乐的存在，能够继续头脑灵活的阅读、写作、聊天，给人留下我来过得痕迹，留下我的思考。

  在这样的需求中，特别想找一本关于晚年认知与规划的书，能够让我客观理解晚年，做出一些或多或少的改变，能够过一个充实、有意义的晚年。后浪出版的这本

  《最好的晚年》

  ，恰好满足了我的需求。

  

  作者

  丹尼尔·J·列维廷

  是加拿大的麦吉尔大学心理学和神经科学教授，被誉为国宝级心理学家和神经科学家。他的研究成果在学术界产生了广泛的影响，为人类对大脑和心理过程的了解做出了重要贡献。

  作者从科学角度出发，重新审视了衰老这一过程。这可能对许多人来说都是一个新颖的角度，因为通常人们会从生活的经验或者医学的角度来看待衰老。而这本书则通过科学实验和研究，揭示了衰老的真相，以及与衰老有关的种种问题。

  

  本书从科普的角度为读者讲解晚年的生活是怎样的，老年人会面临哪些困难，让我们以更细致体贴的心态去理解自己老去的亲人；还会介绍与衰老相关的种种科学真相，并帮助我们为防范衰老提前做好准备；此外，作者还分享了世界范围内一些优秀的养老、临终关怀案例，以及一些将晚年过得有滋有味的老人的生活。

  1、衰老的真相可以从多个方面来揭示

  首先，基因在衰老过程中起着重要的作用。一些基因可以影响衰老的速度和方式，例如Telomerase基因和SIRT1基因等。这些基因的变异和突变可能会影响衰老的速度和方式。

  其次，环境因素也是人体衰老的重要原因之一。例如，日晒、空气污染、辐射、化学物质等都可能对身体造成损害，进而导致衰老。此外，不良的生活习惯，如吸烟、过度饮酒、缺乏运动等也会影响身体的健康状况，加速衰老的过程。

  再者，与衰老有关的种种问题包括身体机能的衰退、慢性疾病的增加、记忆力的减退、情绪的变化等。这些问题可能会对老年人的生活质量产生负面影响。例如，老年人可能会出现行动不便、疼痛、失眠、抑郁等症状，这些问题可能会进一步导致他们的社交圈子缩小、精神状态不佳等问题。

  2、怎样是最好的晚年

  在书中，最好的晚年是指老年人在晚年生活中能够过上充实、有意义、快乐的生活，并尽可能地保持身体和精神的健康。这需要老年人积极规划和管理自己的晚年生活，并寻求适合自己的生活方式和娱乐方式。

  西塞罗在《论老年》中这样写道，“晚年的最佳保护铠甲是一段在它之前被悉心度过的生活，一段被用于追求有益的知识、光荣的功绩和高尚的举止的生活；过着这种生活的人从青年时代就致力于提升他自己，而且将会在晚年收获它们产生的最幸福的果实；这不仅是因为有益的知识、光荣的功绩和高尚的举止将会陪伴他终生，甚至直到他生命的最后一刻，也会因为见证了正直的人生的良心和对过往美好功绩的回忆将会给灵魂带来无上的安慰。”

  

  西塞罗强调了过往生活的体验、心灵上的通透与放下是晚年生活的最佳保护铠甲。

  让我想起来个体心理学创始人阿尔弗雷德·阿德勒，他有个观点，流传甚广：“幸运的人一生都被童年治愈，不幸的人一生都在治愈童年。”

  没有哪一段人生的阅历是可以架空的，所以，到了老年，往往会用大部分的时间去回忆、忏悔或者开心。

  在最好的晚年生活中，老年人可以继续保持积极向上的心态，不断学习和探索新的领域，与家人和朋友保持联系，参与社区活动，照顾好自己的身体健康和精神健康。此外，老年人还应该注重自己的财务规划，确保自己的晚年生活得到充分的保障。

  3、老年人可以将晚年生活视为一个新的起点

  （1）重新审视自己的兴趣爱好：老年人可以回顾自己年轻时的兴趣爱好，并尝试重新拾起它们。例如，他们可以学习新的乐器、参加舞蹈班、尝试园艺等。这些活动不仅可以丰富老年人的生活，还可以让他们感到更加充实和有成就感。

  

  （2）探索新的领域：老年人可以尝试学习新知识、新技能，或者参加一些志愿活动和社交活动。这些活动可以让老年人感到自己仍然在进步和成长，并且可以为他们提供新的社交机会和认识新朋友的机会。

  （3）与家人和朋友建立更紧密的联系：老年人可以与家人和朋友保持联系，分享自己的生活和经历。他们可以通过电话、邮件、社交媒体等方式与家人和朋友保持联系，并积极参加家庭聚会和社交活动。

  不攀比、不踩踏，能够懂得彼此，在你经历低谷的时候，你可以敞开心扉，在你高光时刻，真心为你欢呼。不见得要经常联系，但是彼此需要的时候，我们都在。不为炫耀，只是能够让自己静下来，沉醉其中，给自己的心灵家园一点灵气与生机。

  据“上观新闻”报道，2022年，上海在疫情期间，在虹口区有2780名“老人”，需要照顾。很多老人，都是一个人独居，生活难以自理。老人没有留下很多的食物，儿女不能来小区探望......困难摆在面前。幸好，经过大家的努力，很多的志愿者承担了养老的任务，还有小区的好心年轻人，帮忙购买东西。老人的生活，得到了保障。另外，老人因为孤独太久，引起了心理上的慌乱，需要儿女打电话问候，有人上门来开导等。作为年轻人，应该想一想，父母的后半生怎么办？要不要随迁？遇到特别的情况，应该如何面对？不管年轻人的困难有多大，想尽办法孝顺父母，安排好父母的后路，就是预备好了家庭的后路。好的家风，代代传承，家庭的困难就会减少。

  （4）关注自己的身体健康：老年人应该关注自己的身体健康，通过适当的锻炼、均衡的饮食、充足的睡眠等方式来保持身体健康。这不仅可以让他们感到更加舒适和有活力，还可以提高他们的生活质量。

  人过四十天过午，自然规律没有办法抵抗，我们不能不接受身体机能在慢慢退化，但是可以选择用什么样的态度审视这种变化，尽量与与自己有一种很和谐的共处。不要过于冒进，要根据自己的具体情况，一步一步走下去。就算以后再次遇到困境，也不会太难过。

  写在最后

  《最好的晚年》一书中，认为老年人可以将晚年生活视为一个新的起点，并通过积极参与社会和家庭生活来丰富自己的晚年生活。同时，他们还应该保持积极乐观的心态，并接受自己的年龄和身体状况，从而更好地享受晚年生活。

  即将半百的年龄，我也开始经常思考如何养老的问题，想要体面、有尊严地老去。所以，开始运动，又重新捡起扔掉多年纸笔，认真读写，本意是想开拓一个不受年龄限制的副业，然而在阅读的过程中，有了更多精神层面的洗涤与提升。

  动起来，哪怕是一点点；读起来，那怕是一段文字；构建一个良性互动的圈子，更聪明的渡过更精彩的晚年。